


What Magic Didn't Spoil

by xxMad_Donaxx



Series: Differences [1]
Category: Dragon Age
Genre: Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Post Game
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-06-11
Updated: 2012-06-22
Packaged: 2017-11-07 12:23:29
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 19
Words: 33,536
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/431154
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xxMad_Donaxx/pseuds/xxMad_Donaxx
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Hawke sides with the Templars and Anders is thought to be dead but Fenris and Varric witness a ghostly knight carrying him away. Five years later Fenris is happily married until his daughter is discovered to be a mage. Not wanting to give her up to the circle, Fenris seeks out the only mage he knows.<br/>Written for a kmeme prompt found here:<br/>http://dragonage-kink.livejournal.com/8469.html?thread=31999253#t31999253</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Anders felt a searing hot pain as Hawke pushed the knife into his back. As the knife jerked free he felt the warm flow of blood soaking his shirt, then his coat. Unable to support himself, he slid off of the little crate. He closed his eyes and listened to them walk away. Hawke had chosen to help Meredith. It was no surprise really. He’d sent every apostate they ran across to the circle. It was a wonder Hawke had allowed Merrill and himself to stay free.

The mages of Kirkwall were now doomed but every other mage would have their martyr. They would rise up elsewhere because of this grave injustice and succeed where he had failed. He wouldn’t live to see it though. Death, after all, is what a killer deserved. Justice would at least be free.

Anders waited for the rest of his life blood to pour out onto the cobblestones.

***

The others rounded the corner ahead of him but Fenris stopped and looked back. He had never liked the mage but the manner of his death disturbed Fenris. A quick death was better. What would stop him from simply healing himself and slinking away? So he paused as the others hurried to the docks, and looked back to make sure he was truly dead. He saw a ghostly figure kneeling over the abomination. He wore full plate armor, a sword and shield at his back and a winged helm hiding his face. Fenris took one step back towards them and paused when someone grabbed his arm.

“Hey….what the….” Varric trailed off.

Fenris unconsciously pulled his arm out of the dwarf’s grasp and watched as the armored figure gathered the mage in his arms and stood. He turned to face the elf and the dwarf watching him. It was almost as if he knew they were there. Anders folded his arms against his stomach. The figure shifted the mage in his arms, pulling him closer so his head rested on one armored shoulder. He turned away and started up the stairs to Hightown without looking back.

“Varric, what…” Fenris began in confusion.

“No time,” Varric said shaking his head to clear it. “Hurry.”

Fenris hurried after the dwarf.

***

_Five years later._

Fenris walked the streets of Lowtown toward the alienage. He lived there now with his wife and child. As he walked he reflected on his life. It still stunned him sometimes that a former slave could have found such happiness. Mara was everything he could have wanted. She was kind, outspoken and beautiful.

Her golden hair reminded him of sunlight, but the true light of his life was their daughter Brit. Golden hair like her mother and his jade green eyes along with all the delicate elven features humans found so delightful made her the prettiest child in the alienage. Even at four Brit was inquisitive and intelligent. Her speech was better than most four year olds. While it endeared her to the adults around her, the children her own age were a bit afraid of her. Trust him to produce an intimidating four year old.

Fenris smirked at the thought as he climbed down the steps. He passed the Vhenadahl tree and opened the door to his home. It was Merrill’s old house but Fenris had erased all traces of the blood mage who had died along with all the others five years ago. He stopped with his hand on the door, remembering a mage that might have survived that night.

The abomination had moved before the ghostly knight had taken him away. Only Varric and he had seen him. After the battle with Meredith he and the dwarf had searched the whole city. From the ruins of the chantry in Hightown to his clinic in Darktown, they found no trace of either of them.

“Phaugh. He is dead,” he said to his memories. Fenris shook off the unhappy thoughts and opened the door to his home.

“Papa!!!”

Fenris grinned as he bent to pick up the child running to him. Her arms flew around his neck, expertly avoiding the spiky shoulders. She placed a big, sloppy open-mouthed kiss on his cheek. 

“You said we could read today! Can we?” she asked bouncing in his arms. Her short pigtails swayed slightly with the movement.

He chuckled. “After dinner little one.”

“Awww,” she pouted, sticking her lower lip out.

Fenris kissed her cheek and set her on the floor. “Go play now. We will read after dinner.”

She skipped away and sat down in front of a castle made of blocks. He hung his greatsword on a hook by the door and followed the scent of stew to a large pot hanging over the fire. He lifted the spoon sitting inside the pot and blew on the contents of the spoon to cool it. It was halfway to his mouth when he heard Brit running up to him again.

“Papa!” she said excitedly. “Look what I did!”

“What have….” He stopped speaking and stared in horror at the doll his daughter held up to him. The spoon fell from his shaking hand and clattered to the floor. It was completely frozen.

Fenris reached out and took the frozen doll. Its skirt was pulled up around its waist and the red yarn hair frozen at odd angles, like it had been lying on the floor. He turned it over in his hands and watched a drop of water fall to the floor.

“No,” he whimpered.

“Papa?”

They heard a gasp. Both of them turned toward the bedroom. His previously kind wife was staring at their child with murder in her eyes.

“Filthy mage!” she spat.

“Mama?” Brit said hesitantly, suddenly confused.

Fenris’s markings flared and he put himself between them. He felt her arms encircle his leg tightly.

Mara took a step forward and shook her fist at him. “This is your fault.” Fenris winced at the venom in her voice. “There are no mages in _my_ family.”

A voice from the past assaulted his mind.

_“They are slaves. You should want to help them.” “…..ripped from their families…” “….beaten and raped….” “Some things are worse than death.” “You would condemn us all for just being born!” “…never see them again…”_

“She will be taken to the circle.”

The sound of Mara’s voice broke his thoughts and he looked at her. Fenris frowned and clenched his hands into fists. The remaining ice that surrounded the doll shattered and fell to the floor. His markings flared to life again.

“She will not,” he said quietly. Fenris tucked the wet doll into the pouch at his waist and gently placed his hand on top of her blonde head.

“Oh yes she will! Mages need to be watched.” Mara started forward with purpose.

“No child of mine will be a Templar slave!” he snarled. His markings flared brightly. Fenris scooped up his daughter and ran to the front door. He flung it open and fled into the night. Cries of “mage” followed him out of the door and up the stairs. With one arm supporting her bottom and the other holding her to his chest, Brit clung to him and wept softly.

At the top of the stairs Fenris growled in frustration. Templars, three of them, were running toward the alienage. Mara’s shrill cries still echoed behind him and they skidded to a halt, blocking the only way out.

Fenris didn’t stop. He turned his body so that Brit wouldn’t be hurt, lowered his shoulder and rammed the rightmost Templar. His shoulder screamed in agony as the Templar was pushed to the side and into the one standing next to him. He heard the crash of metal on stone as they both fell.

Only one left, he thought. Fenris quickly outdistanced the plate encumbered Templar in the maze of Lowtown. He found a quiet alley and hid in the shadows to catch his breath.

“Papa?” Brit whispered.

His heart broke a little at the frightened and hurt sound of that one word. “Hush little one,” he said quietly between gasps for breath. “We must be quiet now.”

She nodded her eyes wide and liquid. He stroked her hair and kissed her forehead. Fenris pushed off the wall as she hiccupped softly. Staying to the shadows, he made his way to the Hanged Man. He worked his way around to the back door and slipped in unseen and up the stairs to Varric’s private suite.

The dwarf in question was sitting at his long table, a large book open in front of him. The scratching of the quill stopped as Fenris entered and shut the door. Varric looked up at him and rolled the quill between his thick fingers.

“A bit late isn’t it Broody?” he asked calmly.

“Hide us.”

Varric’s gaze shifted to the sleepy child in his arms and back to Fenris. He stood and waved for him to follow.

“There’s a hidden panel on the wall beside the bed,” he said as they entered his bedroom. “It’s big enough for a tall human so you two should fit nicely.”

Varric pulled off a part of the wall. Fenris would have never known it was there. He sank down to the floor on his back and slid into the hidden space. Varric knelt down next to him.

“I’ll expect the whole story later,” he said, his gaze once again on the child sprawled across Fenris’s chest.

Fenris nodded and the panel was put back in place. There were no cracks for light to filter through so Fenris lay in complete darkness. There was nothing to do in the tiny space but listen to his sleeping daughter and think.

I am such a fool, he thought bitterly. Magic had defined his entire existence. Cursed with a cruel master whose apprentice was worse, he’d thought himself finally free of it when Denarius died. He thought of all the blood mages Kirkwall seemed to have been infested with and the madman that had killed Hawke’s mother. He remembered the creature Orsino had turned himself into. It seemed that the Maker had a cruel sense of humor.

Another voice from the past floated through his mind. This time it was his voice, hurt and angry.

_“What has magic touched that it does not spoil?”_

His arms tightened around the sleeping child. His child…his mage. She was the same sweet, kind and curious child now that she had been a few hours ago. One small bit of magic had not changed who she was. It was painful to think that the abomination might have been right all those years ago.

“It will not spoil this,” he whispered fiercely.


	2. Chapter 2

Fenris had no idea how long they stayed in that dark hidden space. Brit was snoring softly and he slept a bit himself before light filled the little space again. He squinted and looked up at Varric.

“Templars.” Varric said flatly. “How in the name of Andraste’s great tits did you get in trouble with Templars?”

“She is a mage,” he said quietly.

Varric closed his eyes and hung his head. “You need to get out of Kirkwall. This is no place for a mage…now more than ever.”

Only three Circles remained. The rebuilt Starkhaven Circle, Ferelden’s Kinloch Hold and the Gallows in Kirkwall. The mages who had ended up in the Gallows were literal prisoners. Each of them had a Templar escort wherever they went. The only privilege they had was use of the library. Starkhaven’s circle was almost as bad.

Ferelden, however, had become a sort of haven for apostates. There were rumors that King Alistair had thrown all the Templars out of his kingdom and had been replaced with a special unit of trained guards. It was also rumored that young mages were not separated from their families unless the parents literally gave them away. Very little was actually known though.

“I know,” Fenris said as he carefully wiggled his way out of their hiding place. Holding Brit to him with one arm he used the other to push himself into a sitting position. She squirmed at the change in her pillow but remained asleep. Fenris slowly stood, cradling her in his arms, and gently set her on Varric’s bed. She immediately curled up into a fetal position. He pulled the doll out of his pouch and placed it close to her body. Varric handed him a blanket and Fenris tucked it around her, kissing her head softly before straightening.

Varric led him from the room and they sat at the table. With his elbows on the table he scrubbed his face with his hands. “I do not know what to do Varric,” he said frowning.

“Well,” Varric said slowly. “First you get out of the Free Marches. I’d hate to see your sweet little pup caged.”

“I am no stranger to running but I have always been alone. I cannot simply wander as I did before. She needs to be taught things that I do not know and I do not know who to go to.”

“There is someone you could ask…” Varric began. He fell silent as Fenris looked at him, his face a mask of calm as he dropped his arms to the table. Varric took a deep breath let it out slowly. “Blondie’s alive.”

Fenris’s eyes opened wide in shock before his brows pulled down in anger. “Why would I trust the abomination? He is the one that began this mess!”

Anders had truly begun a revolution. The chantry was in shambles and some Templars had rebelled to join the rouge mages but the land was torn with war. Most of the fighting was centered in Orlais and the Free Marches were relatively peaceful at the moment.

“Do you remember that business trip I took a few years back? I had a man looking for that knight we saw and he found Blondie instead. I’ve seen him Fenris and he’s different. Besides, it’s not like you have a bunch of options.”

“I will not send her to any circle,” Fenris growled stubbornly.

Varric sighed. “Then what’s left? Find one of the mage towns? They’d let her in but you’d be eating fireballs before you can say ‘Hey wait’.”

Not for the first time, Fenris wished he didn’t stand out so well. Varric was right. It was common knowledge that he’d helped the Champion of Kirkwall slaughter the mages in the Gallows. That was the biggest reason he’d stayed in Kirkwall. Then he’d met Mara and then Brit came along and before he’d known years had passed. He never had a reason to fear for his safety in Kirkwall before but now…neither side would welcome him.

Fenris sighed wearily. His shoulder throbbed from hitting hard plate mail at a dead run, his head ached from worry and he felt incredibly tired. “You are correct. I have no choice.”

“Get some sleep Broody. I’ll get everything set,” Varric said as he stood.

He nodded as Varric left. Fenris sat at the table for a moment before he finally stood and made his way to the bed where Brit slept. She hadn’t moved much other than to clutch the doll. He removed his clawed gauntlets and set them at the end of the bed. Fenris curled himself around his daughter and waited for sleep to claim him.

Fenris woke when he felt the pull of magic at his markings. His eyes snapped open and he watched Brit. She sat cross legged leaning lightly against his thighs where he’d curled around her. Her doll was sitting primly in her lap held by one hand and the other was stretched out in front of her. Forehead creased in concentration, the tip of her tongue peeked out from between her lips. He felt the magic pull again and watched her fingers frost over slightly.

“Brit stop,” he said. His deep voice was loud in the quiet room.

She jerked at the sudden sound and her hand snapped closed in a fist. “How?” she asked guiltily. “I was real quiet.”

“I felt your magic little one.”

“That’s what made Sarah real cold? Magic?”

“Yes. You are a mage Brit. But you must promise me not to try and use it for now.”

“Why?”

Fenris pushed himself up to sit and winced at the stiffness in his shoulder. Brit climbed into his lap and ran her fingers through Sarah’s red yarn hair. He hugged his daughter close and said quietly, “It is dangerous.”

She looked up at him and said sadly “Is that why Mama don’t like me no more?”

He closed his eyes for a moment and blew out a breath. Fenris wished he knew what to say to ease her burden. But he didn’t and all he could tell her was the truth. It would hurt now, but she would be stronger for it later.

“Yes,” he whispered.

Fenris watched her rest her head against his chest. Large tears ran silently down her cheeks. She clutched her doll to her and he in turn clutched her closer.

Sniffing she said brokenly, “Can you make it go away?”

“I cannot.” He rested his cheek on the top of her head and felt a tear slip free of his eyelashes.

Fenris stroked her hair and held her until her quiet sobs stopped. She looked up at him again, eyes red rimmed and face splotchy from tears. Fear settled across her face.

“Do you not like me?” she asked.

“Little one, I will always love you.” Fenris squeezed her briefly and looked down at her. “I promise, Brit, I will never leave you.”

She nodded once and smiled shyly. Fenris smiled back and hugged her again. After a few minutes he pulled out one of the ties to her pigtails and finger combed it straight while she sat on his lap deep in thought. While retying the one and pulling the other out, she asked “Why is it dan…danger….”

“Dangerous,” he said slowly, retying the other tail.

“Dangerous,” she repeated carefully. “What does that big word mean?”

“Hmm, hurtful…could cause someone harm.”

She looked up at him and exclaimed fearfully “I don’t wanna hurt no one!”

“That is why we must leave Kirkwall. We need to find a man who can teach you what I cannot.”

“Why can’t you teach me?”

“I am not a mage little one.” They fell silent once more, each lost in thought.

“Papa, I’m hungry.”

Fenris chuckled as Varric appeared in the doorway. “How about we find you a muffin on the way to the docks?” he asked cheerfully.

“Yummy!!!” she exclaimed clapping her hands.

Varric turned to Fenris, suddenly serious. “Your ship leaves in an hour. I have a pack full of supplies and this should be enough to buy a new sword when you get to Amaranthine.” He tossed a coin pouch and Fenris caught it easily.

“Is that where he is living now?” Fenris asked while he stuffed the coins in his pouch.

Varric shook his head. “He lives on an old farm in the foothills of the Frostback Mountains. Just outside of a small village called Honnleath.”

“Then we should be on our way. Thank you Varric.”

Varric smiled and shrugged. “I’ll walk with you to the docks.

It was a tense walk for Fenris. The clank of armor had become a hated sound in a matter of one night. He turned constantly, trying to look everywhere at once. He wondered if this is how the mage felt when he lived here. It was unnerving.

Brit was content in his arms though, munching on the muffin Varric had bought for her. The emotional storm of the morning had passed quickly, as do all things at four. Fenris was glad when they finally stood in front of the gangplank. He shifted nervously from foot to foot and looked around one last time.

“You have been a good friend Varric. I shall miss you,” he said.

“I’ll miss you too Broody. Take good care of her.”

Fenris nodded and turned to walk up to the gangplank. Brit waved at Varric and he smiled and waved back.

“Fenris.”

He paused and turned.

“I won’t lie to Hawke. I value my hide too much for that, but I will stall him.”

Fenris studied his friend. His face was uncharacteristically grave and serious. He nodded once more. “If Hawke wishes to chase let him come,” he smirked. “He will share Danarius’s fate.”

Varric grinned and waved once more. Fenris heard him whistling as he walked away. He then turned and boarded the ship to his new uncertain future.


	3. Chapter 3

Fenris stood on deck, leaning on the rail and watching the waves. He was always close to Brit, who was questioning a sailor at the moment. They had watched Kirkwall disappear behind them as they sailed further out onto the Waking Sea. Brit was leaving the only home she had known. Fenris had spent almost twelve years in Kirkwall and it felt more like home than anywhere else ever had.

Here he was though, continuing his journey with a new wolf at his heels and this time he couldn’t afford to be reckless. He had more than his own life to watch. There was never any doubt in his mind that Hawke would follow them. After the battle with Meredith was done, Hawke was offered the Viscount’s chair. Surprisingly, he’d declined. Instead he had trained as a Templar and become a hunter. He hadn’t seen or spoken with the man in almost four years. Hawke had become cruel and bitter. Their last words had been spoken in anger. Fenris had advocated control for the mages and now he wondered if even that was unfair.

Hawke had become very cruel and twisted. It was almost as if a part of the man had died when the chantry exploded. The kind part of him that helped a total stranger free himself from slavers. He had always been quick to anger but kind. Afterwards, Fenris hardly recognized the man his friend had become.

Fenris couldn’t stand the way the mages he brought in had been treated. Always beaten and bound. The way some of the males flinched at any touch, he wondered if they had been raped as well. They were as obedient as well trained slaves and Fenris hated it. So he had confronted Hawke and been told to mind his own business. Fenris hadn’t seen him since.

Hawke would find out soon enough that Brit was a mage and how he would laugh. The mage hater with a mage child and he wouldn’t stop looking until he found her. Fenris frowned sourly at the water.

He felt Brit pat his leg and looked down at her. “Yes little one?”

“How long til we get there?” she asked.

“Look there,” he said and pointed to the front of the ship.

She turned and turned again. Brit held her arms up and said “Up!”

Fenris picked her up and settled her on his hip. They turned to watch the tiny sliver of land grow larger as the ship sailed closer. She hooked one of her hands in the collar of his armor and pulled Sarah closer.

“What’s it like Papa?” she asked quietly.

“I do not know. I have never been to Ferelden.”

They fell silent and watched the docks of Amaranthine come into view. Fenris thought they looked pretty much like any other dock he’d seen. Scanning through the people he could see on the pier, he saw no Templars. That didn’t mean there were none in the city but he dared to hope the rumors had been true. He went below deck to get their pack.

“When do we go see the guy who can teach me?” Brit asked on the way back up to the deck.

“We still have a long way to go little one. I will get directions from someone and we will be on our way soon enough,” he said.

She clung to him as the ship drifted into port and anchored. Fenris stood on deck and studied what he could see. Amaranthine was nowhere near as big as Kirkwall. It was quaint in a way. Walls surrounded the city and stone buildings stood everywhere. There was no sign of the darkspawn invasion that the mage had claimed happened. Of course, they had had years to repair such things but rumor suggested Denerim was still in pretty bad shape.

Still scanning the crowd, he walked down the gangplank and stood on the dock. He followed the flow of passengers and watched a few happy reunions. One man dropped his pack and swung a woman around in a circle before kissing her and embracing her. Brit giggled at them. Fenris only felt loss.

Pining like a love sick fool will get you killed, he thought to himself irritably. He turned his attention back to the crowd. Most of the people were sailors or dock workers. There were armored guards here and there and people either boarding or disembarking ships. The people talked or shouted at one another. He drew some stares but mostly they were ignored. Fenris followed the crowd into the city and stopped to see if he could find the market without having to ask directions.

Brit looked around with wide, curious eyes. She wrinkled her nose suddenly and said “Smelly.”

Fenris wrinkled his own nose and said “I agree.”

“Look Papa, can we get food there?” she asked as she pointed down the street.

He followed her outstretched arm and smiled. She had found the market. Fenris walked down a flight of stairs and up to the first stall selling meat pies. He bought one for each of them and continued on. There were trinkets salesmen, a man who sold potions, armorers and clothing salesmen. At the end of the row, he found what he’d been looking for, a weapon smith.

Fenris looked over the display until he found a decent looking greatsword. He set Brit down next to him and brushed off his hands. She took another bite and looked up at him then at the weapons curiously.

“Stay close,” he said.

She nodded and he straightened as the salesman walked over.

“Can I help you?” he asked cheerfully.

“I’d like to see this one.”

“Certainly!”

Fenris picked up the sword and tested its weight. It was sharp and well made. He turned to ask about price when he felt magic pulling at the lyrium in his markings. Suddenly the blade of the sword was coated in ice. He grunted at the extra weight and dropped the tip to the ground. Brit gasped beside him and the marketplace chatter died around him.

“I’m sorry Papa!” she whispered guiltily. “I didn’t mean too!”

“Shh, little one,” he said quietly as he turned to face the crowd that had gathered. He glared warily at them.

“One of ‘em’s a mage,” a man said quietly.

“I’ll bet it’s the kid. He should take her to the tower.”

“Hey, wasn’t he that elf what helped that man in Kirkwall?"

“You mean the Champion?”

“Yeah, strange tattoos, tall elf, white hair. What’s he doin’ with a mage?”

“Dunno. Someone should call the guard.”

Brit clung to his leg and started whimpering. She gazed fearfully at all the people staring at her and started sobbing. He propped the sword on the display stand and gathered her into his arms. Her arms flew around his neck and she clung tightly. Fenris rubbed her back and glared at the crowd.

Before he could think of running he heard the clank of armor. “Here now! Break it up you lot!” the armored man ordered.

The crowd reluctantly parted for him and began going their separate ways whispering amongst themselves. Fenris studied the man in front of him. He wore full plate but instead of the flaming sword of a Templar on his breast plate there was an ornate staff engraved upon it.

“She’s a mage?” he asked kindly.

He nodded and prepared himself to run. The man chuckled and Fenris arched an eyebrow in surprise.

“You haven’t been here long have you,” he said.

Fenris rubbed Brit’s back as her quiet sobs died to hiccups. He shook his head.

“We won’t take her. You got King Alistair’s promise on that. You’re safer here in Ferelden with her than anywhere else.”

“There are no Templars?” Fenris asked finding his voice at last.

“Nope, not since they were thrown out by the King and Queen five years ago. The Queen is a mage herself and she saved us all from the blight. The Queen saved Amaranthine itself from the darkspawn,” the man said proudly.

“You would truly let us go?” Fenris asked skeptically.

“I will need some information first. Like her name and where you’re headed. We don’t lock up mages here but we do keep track of them. Her being so young I would recommend you head to Kinloch Hold for teaching.”

“We have a friend in Honnleath who can teach her.”

The man had pulled a rolled up parchment out of his pouch. He then produced a quill and an ink pot and used the weapons display table to write. The quill scratched for a moment and he asked in a businesslike manner “Her name?”

Fenris had the truth stunned out of him. “Brit.”

The quill scratched some more before the man stopped the ink bottle and put it back in his pouch. He waved the paper slightly to dry the ink. “You will find soldiers like me in every town and village in Ferelden. Even the small ones like Honnleath. I’ll ask you to find our office when you arrive and check in with them.”

Fenris nodded. Brit finally looked up at the man and he smiled at her. She smiled shyly back and hid her face again.

“Some advice, it’s still a good idea to keep her gift a secret. Most folk won’t do anything openly but a lot are still afraid of mages.”

“Can you tell me how to find Honnleath?” Fenris asked.

“Certainly. Head south to Denerim and then west on the Imperial Highway until you get to RedCliff. Someone can tell you where to go from there.”

“Thank you.”

“Welcome to Ferelden,” the man said cheerfully as he walked away still waving the parchment slightly.

They were really going to let them go. Fenris felt people staring at them. He watched the crowd. Some stared, most hurried on their business. He heard normal marketplace chatter and turned around to the salesman. “How much?” he asked.

“Three sovereigns,” he said flatly.

Noting the fear in the man’s eyes Fenris quickly handed over the coin and shouldered the sword. So they were tolerant but not all were accepting. He looked around and hurried to the city gate.

“I’m sorry Papa,” Brit whispered.

“It is all right little one. We must be careful though.”

Fenris hurried out the gate and past the outskirts of the town where a tent camp sat. The people watched him apathetically. He turned south on the Pilgrims Path and they left Amaranthine quickly behind.


	4. Chapter 4

It took them two days to travel through the Wending Wood to Denerim. Brit was endlessly fascinated by the trees. Fenris watched her flit from one to the next, comparing the leaves, the way the branches grew or even the subtle difference in the color of the bark. She smelled every flower and even had a pretty purple blossom tucked behind her ear. 

Fenris found all the nature annoying. There were sharp rocks that hurt even through the hard calluses on his feet. It seemed he found mud with every other step and they were both filthy.

It was only midday when they reached the gates of Denerim but Fenris decided they could find a cheap Inn and rest until the morning. Brit’s boundless energy had finally run out and she sat sleepily in his arms with her head resting on his shoulder the flower having been lost somewhere. He was careful not to move her too much because he didn’t want the spiky part of his armor to hurt her.

Unlike Amaranthine, Denerim still showed clear signs of the darkspawn devastation. There were whole city blocks that sat in ruins. Scaffolding and stonemasons were everywhere. Carpenters and their apprentices worked in buildings that had been fixed or built new. The streets were a hive of activity and the sounds of things being built filled the air.

Among the people on the streets Fenris still saw no Templars. He did see several knights with the staff breast plates. He avoided them and the regular guards he saw. Fenris stopped in front of an Inn and smiled when he read the name.

“The Mages Rest,” he said aloud. “I think this will be fine.”

He pushed his way inside the dim common room and looked around. It was filled with people eating their midday meal. Serving women scurried among the tables and delicious smells drifted from the kitchen. A short woman stood behind the bar, cleaning the mugs. She had looked up when they entered and he saw her raise an eyebrow.

“Maker’s mercy!” she exclaimed. “Did you fall in every puddle on the way?”

“Not quite,” he answered with a small smile. “I was hoping for a room and a bath.”

“I’ve got both for you as long as you don’t mind your bath out of a basin instead of a tub.”

“That will be adequate.”

“Fifty silver, and that includes breakfast. Dinner or lunch is extra.”

Fenris nodded and shifted his hold on Brit slightly to reach his coin pouch. She opened her eyes and yawned. He dug for the coin while she stretched.

“Papa, where are we?” she asked sleepily.

“Denerim, little one. We are going upstairs to clean up.”

“Okay.” Her head fell back down to his shoulder.

Fenris counted fifty silvers and the woman handed him a key. “It’s the first door on the right at the top of the stairs,” she said.

“Thank you.”

He climbed the stairs and entered the room. The only bed sat against one wall and a chair sat next to a table opposite it. Fenris looked out the only window to the street below. He turned and sat Brit down on the chair.

“Stay here Brit,” he told her.

She nodded sleepily and he took the basin and filled it with water from a pump downstairs. He hurried back up and Brit was still in the chair, almost asleep again. He stood her up and pulled her dress off. Fenris scrubbed the grime off quickly and efficiently. Digging through the pack, he found the spare dress Varric had packed and pulled it over her head. He picked her up and set her on the bed. She curled up with Sarah and began snoring softly.

Fenris quickly dumped and refilled the basin. He washed himself quickly and managed to clean most of the dirt off of his armor before the smells of dinner finally woke Brit. She yawned and stretched.

“I’m hungry Papa,” she announced.

“Let us go then.” He held out his hand and she grabbed two of his fingers and beamed up at him.

They left the room and started down the stairs. The common room came into view and he scanned the room. There were less people than before but he thought that would change soon. It was still a bit early. His eyes crossed the doorway and he froze. Brit looked back and up at him, confused.

“C’mon Papa,” she said giving his arm a little tug.

Fenris yanked her back behind him. She yelped in surprise but stayed behind him. Standing in the doorway and blocking his way out stood Hawke. He looked no different than when he’d last seen him other than regular plate armor rather than the Templar armor he’d began wearing. The close cropped brown hair, clean shaven square jaw, a strong nose that had been broken once and set badly and his cold ice chip eyes were staring right at him.

He smiled and purred “Fenris.”

“Hawke.”

“Give me the mage Fenris,” he demanded in his best friendly tone.

“No,” Fenris replied. An angry look flashed across Hawke’s face and was gone an instant later.

Fenris heard chairs scrape across floorboards and glanced at the rest of the common room. Four burly men had stood. They all faced Hawke and were slowly moving closer.

“Be careful,” he warned them. “He is skilled and a Templar.”

Hawke ignored the four men slowly advancing. “She belongs in the Gallows Fenris. Do you want her to become like the abomination?” His voice could have cracked steel.

“Billy, go and fetch the Sage Knights,” the innkeeper said angrily. Fenris saw a boy dart for the kitchen.

“No mage belongs in that pit!” exclaimed a red haired man. He took a step closer and pointed at Hawke. “You aren’t welcome here Templar!”

Hawke glanced at the red haired man and dismissed him as harmless. “Do you want another Magistar who can torture poor innocent slaves? You said it yourself Fenris, ‘All mages would become Magistars,’.”

Several people looked at him now. He hesitated only a moment before he said, “I was wrong.”

“You weren’t wrong Fenris,” Hawke pleaded harshly. “Think of how many blood mages there were in Kirkwall.”

“And how many of them had been severely abused?” he said angrily, his markings flaring brightly. “How many of those mages just wanted to be treated as people instead of objects or weapons. How many mages have you abused Hawke! How many have you driven to blood magic or suicide?”

“Listen to yourself. You sound like the abomination,” Hawke said darkly.

“She has opened my eyes Hawke. Mages are people. I do not see a mage when I look at her, I see my daughter. _Anders_ was correct on many things.”

Hawke snarled and pulled the greatsword from his back and took a few quick steps forward. Suddenly the room rang with the sound of steel. Every person in the room had a sword or a dagger. Fenris drew his own blade as well. Hawke finally looked around him and saw a forest of steel trained on him. He paused.

“You have three arrows trained on your neck Templar,” the innkeeper said coldly. “I suggest you don’t move.”

Suddenly the door burst open and three of the knights with the staff breast plates rushed in, weapons drawn. They surrounded Hawke and he straightened then held his sword out meekly to one of them.

The knight took the sword and looked at the boy who had run for the kitchens earlier. “This him boy?”

“Yeah, that’s him. That’s the Templar.”

“Hands up scum,” another one said. “Move.”

Hawke followed their directions. “They can’t help you forever Fenris. I will find you,” he said on his way out the door.

Fenris put his sword away as the common room slowly returned to normal. He turned to find Brit. She was huddled on the stairway, leaning against the wall. Her eyes were wide and scared. He knelt down to pick her up and her arms trembled when she reached out to him.

“That man was scary,” she whispered.

“Yes, but you are safe now little one. I will not let him take you.” He squeezed her lightly and she wrapped her arms around his chest as far as they would reach.

Fenris turned and saw the innkeeper watching him. “Join me for some dinner?” she asked.

He nodded and followed her to an empty table in a corner of the room. Brit clung to him stubbornly when he tried to put her in a seat so he sat her on his lap instead. The innkeeper took a chair opposite him and waved to one of the serving girls.

“Three bowls and a piece of the cake for the child,” she said to server and she hurried off. The innkeeper turned to him and said, “So, your girl’s a mage.”

“Yes,” he said tiredly.

“You’ve come to the right place. She’ll be safer in Ferelden than anywhere else on Thedas right now.”

“You are the second person that has told me that. Why is it so different here?”

“The Hero has saved us and we are grateful. She was a mage you know. A lot of us folk here in Ferelden decided mages couldn’t be all that bad. Some of us already knew that though. My sister was a mage.”

Talk died as three bowls of stew were set on the table, one smaller than the others. They ate the stew and biscuits in a companionable silence. Brit ate slower than usual and her eyes kept watching the door.

“It’s all right darling,” said the innkeeper kindly. “The Sage Knights will lock him up and throw him out of Ferelden.”

“He was very scary,” she said seriously. “Thank you for making him go away.”

“You’re welcome dear,” the innkeeper said and smiled.

The serving girl brought a small slice of cake and set it in front of Brit. She looked up at Fenris and said, “Can I Papa?”

He smiled and nodded. She took a bite and said “Mmm, good!”

“Are you taking her to the Tower?” the innkeeper asked after a moment.

“No. We are traveling to Honnleath. A friend who can help her lives there.”

“Billy!” she yelled as she turned around in the chair. The same boy from before ran up to her.

“Yes Mum?” he asked.

“Go find William and tell him he’s got two passengers and not to leave without them and no arguments.” He turned and ran off. “My brother William is taking trade goods to Redcliff. You can ride with them and I won’t take no for an answer. They leave early tomorrow.”

“Thank you for all your help. How much is it for the meal?” Fenris said.

“On the house. Just…just take care of her,” she said.

Fenris noticed the haunted look that passed across her face and wondered what had happened to her sister. He nodded his thanks and said, “I will.”

He stood and shifted Brit to his hip. She waved to the innkeeper as they walked up the stairs. When they were in the room, Fenris locked the door. He set Brit down and moved the chair to wedge it under the door knob. He propped his sword against the wall by the bed and sat cross legged and resting against the headboard. Brit climbed up after him and lay with her head in his lap.

“Night Night Papa,” she said.

“Good night little one.”

Her breathing evened out into the regular patterns of sleep in moments. Fenris envied her a little. He would get no sleep this night, so he watched the window and thought.

He thought of the years he’d spent traveling with Hawke before Anders had destroyed the chantry. Looking back he clearly saw the events that led to Hawke being like he was now. It started before Fenris had met him, when his brother died. Hawke had been consumed with guilt even after a year.

The Deep Roads had made his guilt worse. Bethany had contracted the blight. Hawke had killed her himself. He hadn’t been able to deal with his sibling’s deaths. It had eaten at him for three years. Then his mother had died. Killed by a crazed blood mage and Hawke became angry and even more guilty. He’d told Fenris once that he should have been able to catch the man before his mother had died. Fenris knew that Hawke had tried his best to find the killer.

Isabela’s departure with the Tome of Koslun was the next blow to his fragile frame of mind. He had been completely enamored by the pirate. She did not return his affection. Her only true love was the sea. Varric had tried to warn him but Hawke wouldn’t listen. None of them had seen her since.

The final blow had come during their second trip to the Deep Roads. It was that business with the Carta and Corypheus. Finding out that his father was a blood mage had shattered him somehow. He had placed the blame on mages and became even angrier. Hawke had merely tolerated Anders and Merrill before but after he avoided them or actively made their lives miserable. It was a wonder he never turned either over to the Templars.

All of the people he cared deeply for were either dead or had betrayed him in some fashion. It had broken the grumpy but kind man he started out as and turned him into an evil bastard. He probably counted Fenris as having betrayed him. They had been quite close.

Fenris sighed and watched the window. Dawn would come soon and they would leave Denerim behind. He only hoped that they would reach Anders before Hawke caught up again. 


	5. Chapter 5

Fenris watched the little patch of sky he could see out the window lighten from black to grey. The soft knock on the door was expected but he sat on the bed a moment longer before lightly shaking Brit to wake her.

“Aww, don’t wanna,” she mumbled.

“It is time to get up Brit. We must leave soon,” he said as he moved her head to get up.

There was another knock on the door. Fenris moved the chair and opened it. Behind him he heard Brit yawn. The innkeeper stood in the doorway.

“Billy can take you to William as soon as you’re ready,” she said.

Fenris nodded and she turned to the stairs. He closed the door and turned to gather his few possessions. Brit sat up rubbing her eyes with her fists. She slid off of the bed and stretched. Fenris sat on the bed and stood her between his legs with her facing away from him. He pulled the ties out of her hair and used a comb Varric had thoughtfully packed to work the knots out of her hair. 

“Papa, what’s his name?”

“Whose name little one.”

“The guy who can teach me.”

“His name is Anders.”

She tapped her fingers on his knees. Fenris parted her hair and gathered half to tie up.

“What’s a abom…abombee…abomb…” She made a small frustrated noise.

“Abomination?” he asked, dreading her answer.

“Yeah.”

Curse you Hawke, he thought. Fenris sighed and gathered the other half of her hair. “Abominations are people that have been possessed by demons.”

“Demons?”

He finished tying her hair and she turned to face him resting her hands on his thighs. “Evil creatures from the Fade, mages must be wary of them always.”

Her eyes widened a little in fear. “Papa, what is posesst?"

“Being taken over.”

She shook her head back and forth. “I don’t wanna be a mage Papa,” she said quietly.

Fenris lifted her chin so that she had to look at him. “I am sorry Brit. You do not have a choice. You are a mage.”

Her eyes filled with tears. Fenris swore softly in Arcanum and leaned down to embrace her. He didn’t know what to say. Words and emotions were not something he dealt with well. He was still very unsure of his own feelings at the moment despite what he’d said to Hawke. Fenris only knew he loved his daughter and it hurt to see her suffer. They had to get to Anders. Perhaps he would know how to deal with this.

“We must go little one,” he said as her sobs turned to hiccups. “Anders can help.”

Brit nodded against him and used Sarah’s skirt to wipe her eyes. “Okay Papa.”

He grabbed his pack and strapped his sword to his back. Fenris took one last look around the room to make sure he hadn’t forgotten anything. Holding out his hand, Brit held two of his fingers and looked up at him. She had a determined look on her face.

“I won’t cry no more Papa,” she said.

Fenris resisted the urge to frown. He didn’t think that was very healthy but he also didn’t have any idea what to say or do. Instead he led her out into the hall and down the stairs. Anders had better know how to fix this, he thought, because I do not have a clue.

The boy, Billy, led them to Denerim’s gates. There were three wagons with two guards per wagon waiting for them. At the lead wagon he lifted Brit into the seat next to the driver and climbed up after her.

The driver held out his hand and said, “William. We’ll be takin’ you to Redcliffe?”

Fenris shook his offered hand and said “Yes.”

“Off we go then!” he said as he snapped the reins.

The wagon lurched forward and Denerim soon fell behind them. They quickly entered a forest. William chattered endlessly and Fenris resisted the sudden urge to strangle the man. When there was finally a pause Fenris asked, “How long will it take to get to Redcliffe?”

“Oh three or four days if the weather holds.”

He groaned quietly. Brit warmed to him at once. Her questions were as endless as his breath. On the second day she asked a question that made him pay attention.

“Where did all the tem plars go?”

His answer was long and rambling but Fenris held some new respect for the King. After the blight had ended and the Queen was sent to Vigil’s Keep by the Grey Wardens King Alistair had secretly began building the Sage Knights. In the years Fenris had spent traveling and fighting with Hawke, King Alistair had been building an order of Knights to replace the Templars.

By the time Anders destroyed the chantry in Kirkwall the number of these knights was astounding. News of the mage slaughter at the Gallows traveled quickly to Ferelden and King Alistair and the Sage Knights marched on the Circle. There were Sage Knights in every town and village in Ferelden and in one day all the Templars of Ferelden had been subdued and jailed. Fenris couldn’t imagine the coordination such a strike would require.

The general population of Ferelden had mostly become sympathetic to the mages because of their Queen, a mage, the Hero that saved them from the blight and the woman who had saved the city of Amaranthine from darkspawn. They adored her and were horrified to learn of the abuses the mages had suffered. The Templars were escorted to the Orlesian border and told to never return.

The chantry had protested this of course. The King and the Grand Cleric had a very public argument about it. At the end of the argument King Alistair had told her, “The mages are my subjects as well. I will NOT stand idly by and watch them suffer any longer! If this bothers you then you can leave my country along with your blighted Templars.” About half of the Mothers and Sisters along with the Grand Cleric were also escorted to the border.

Kinloch Hold had been turned into a learning facility. Mages were required to check in with the Sage Knights but they could live among the people. Children who came into their power were required to go to the tower or be taken on as an apprentice by a known apostate. Fenris went to sleep happy that night. They wouldn’t be hunted. Now he only had to deal with Hawke.

The next day they passed through Lothering. Evidence of the blight could be seen everywhere. The trees were dead and twisted, no grass grew, and all the buildings were burned out husks. It was unnaturally quiet, as there were no animals. Not even a bird sang in that wasteland. Fenris was glad when it disappeared behind them. 

Later that afternoon they arrived in Redcliffe. Fenris stood next to William at the top of the hill overlooking the town. Brit stood quietly next to him looking at the town curiously. The wagons were being unloaded and the goods carried down the steep path to somewhere in the town. He decided that they would try to reach Honnleath today rather than spend the night here.

“Can you tell me how to reach Honnleath from here?” he asked William.

“You remember that fork in the road a ways back? Take the other path and you’ll be there in no time. You’ve got a cute little girl, take good care of her.”

“Thank you. I appreciate your help.”

William clapped him on the shoulder and said, “Hope to see you around sometime.”

He walked off to supervise the transfer of his goods and Fenris stood there for a moment. Lake Calenhad sparkled in the distance. If he squinted and could just make out the impression of Kinloch Hold on the horizon. Brit reached up and took a hold of two of his fingers.

“Are we almost there Papa?” she asked.

“Yes, we will be in Honnleath soon.” He looked down and smiled at her. “Shall we go?”

Brit looked up at him and smiled. “Yup.”

They turned and left Redcliffe behind. It didn’t take long to find the fork and they turned up the other path. The land around them turned to forest quickly. Nightfall found them just outside of Honnleath. Fenris only took the time to find an Inn. He would look for Anders in the morning.


	6. Chapter 6

Anders stood on the front porch of his small farm. He only used half of the land regularly to grow vegetables and elfroot but there was a small pond perfect for swimming in. It also irrigated his garden. The farm sat above the village of Honnleath in a clearing in the surrounding forest. There was only one path that led to there unless one wanted to hike through the woods. 

He flipped his long ponytail over his shoulder. The end of it sat just below his shoulder blades. His arms were folded across his muscled chest. Constant working in his garden and chopping firewood had toned his muscles. He would never look as bulky as a warrior but he didn’t look scrawny and underfed like he had back in Kirkwall.

His long elegant fingers tapped his biceps. “So who do you think is visiting us today Pounce?” he asked the fat orange tabby sleeping in a nearby chair. Ser-Pounce-a-lot didn’t answer. He so often didn’t in his old age.

“How about you Stripes? Who do you think is coming?” he asked the black and grey kitten sitting on the rail. Stripes didn’t answer him either.

“I suppose we’ll find out soon enough.”

He watched the two distant figures approach. One of them was obviously a child. He caught a flash of impossibly white hair. No one in the village had hair the color of freshly fallen snow. In fact, Anders only knew one person with hair that color. 

“Can’t be,” he muttered.

Anders watched them a bit more. The closer they got the more sure he was. When he saw the lines of lyrium on his chin and neck he frowned. His fingers stopped tapping and gripped his upper arms instead.

“What in Andraste’s name is he doing here?!?” he growled.

They stopped a few feet from the steps. Anders glanced at the elven girl walking beside Fenris. Tension was thick in the air and the silence lasted.

“Fancy meeting you here,” Anders finally said coldly. The girl watched him curiously.

“I have been searching for you,” Fenris replied, just as stoic as ever.

“Congratulations you found me. Now leave.” The girl’s eyes widened slightly. He noticed they were the exact same shade as Fenris’.

“I cannot,” Fenris said as he glanced at the girl. “I require your assistance.”

Anders snorted. “What could you possibly need my help for?”

Fenris placed one of his hands, still encased in those damned claws, gently on the girl’s head. “She needs a teacher.”

“I’m sure you can find someone else to teach her sums and reading. If you’re through bothering me now….” Anders gestured towards the path they had just come from.

“She is a mage,” Fenris growled. “You know I can teach her to read and do sums!”

Anders barked a laugh. “Well, isn’t that a great joke. If I didn’t know you better elf I’d say you’re pulling my leg.”

“Do not mock me mage!” Fenris spat.

“I’m not the one who traipsed across Ferelden to ask someone you hate for a favor,” he said angrily. “Maybe you should take her to the tower like you and Hawke did to all those apostates you found in Kirkwall.”

Fenris closed his eyes and took a deep breath. The girl clung to his leg and looked at Anders fearfully. What a monster I still am, he thought shamefully. Anders reached out and stroked Stripes’ back.

“I promised that I would not leave her,” Fenris said calmly as he opened his eyes. “I will not let the circle take my daughter from me.”

Anders thought of a twelve year old boy being led away in chains from this very house. He remembers looking back and seeing his mother weeping silently but not moving. His father standing in this very spot, arms crossed and feet spread. The look of relief on his face had nearly broken him.

He stepped down off of the porch and said, “Very well. I’ll teach your daughter. I suppose you don’t have anywhere to stay?”

“We do not.”

“If you stay here you’ll help with the chores. I won’t ask for anything for the teaching but I’m not going to feed you for free.”

“That is acceptable.”

“Have you checked her in with the Sage Knights?”

“No.”

“Then we’re going to Honnleath,” Anders said as he started walking past Fenris and down the path.

“Now?” Fenris asked as he turned around.

“But we just got here!” the girl whined. “I’m tired!”

Anders turned to face them. “Yes now. Mages must check in with the Sage Knights and I’m not going to risk my freedom for you.”

“Can we at least rest first?” Fenris asked.

“We can carry her. She’s small enough she won’t be a burden.”

Fenris sighed as he picked up the girl. He whispered something to her and she nodded. Anders turned and started walking again. He heard Fenris walking beside him.

“What’s her name?” Anders asked.

“Brit.”

“Nice to meet you Brit, I’m Anders.” She looked at him dubiously and said nothing.

The silence between them felt thick. Anders studied Brit as they walked down the path. She was clearly Fenris’ daughter. Her eyes, the shape of her ears and something about the way she held herself in his arms all reminded him of Fenris. She hugged her doll and turned slightly to look at him. Anders smiled and she looked away quickly. He frowned as he watched the path in front of him. Great first impression Anders, he thought, how am I supposed to teach her if she’s afraid of me?

“Where is your staff?” Fenris asked suddenly.

Anders scowled at the ground. “I don’t have one.”

“You do not have a staff?” Fenris asked in shock.

“No Fenris I don’t. I’m not allowed to have a weapon of any sort. I had to beg for a kitchen knife and an axe for firewood,” he said flatly. “I don’t even have a razor. Good thing I never could grow a proper beard.”

“You mean…”Fenris began.

“They know all right. I turned myself in and they know. Can we speak about this later? Or not at all,” he interrupted angrily. Silence fell again. As they walked Anders wondered just what he’d gotten himself into. They had fallen to arguing like the five years in between hadn’t happened. The one big exception was that Hawke wasn’t here to keep them from killing each other. Right, he thought.

“Fenris, I’m sorry for being so short tempered,” he said.

“I am sorry as well,” Fenris said quietly. “I do not mean to antagonize.”

“There are…things…we must discuss,” Anders said. He glanced at Brit who was watching both of them intently. “But we can talk about it later.”

Fenris gave him an unreadable look. “Very well.”

“Are you going to be nice now?” Brit asked suddenly.

Anders chuckled. “I’ll try sweetie. I’m sorry if I scared you earlier.”

“It’s okay. Are we going to stay with you?”

“If Ser Martin says it’s okay.”

“Can I play with your kitties?”

“You can play with Stripes. He’s the little black one. Pounce is very old and doesn’t do much besides sun himself.”

She held her arms out to him. Anders looked at Fenris for permission. He nodded and reluctantly handed her over to him. Anders settled her on his hip. One of her hands fisted the back of his simple tunic. With the other she tucked her doll between them and then ran her hand down his prickly cheek.

“Pokey,” she said and smiled.

Anders smiled back. Maybe this wouldn’t be so bad after all. 


	7. Chapter 7

Fenris watched the two of them out of the corner of his eye. Anders wasn’t the first human she’d seen but he was the first Fenris had allowed so close. Humans didn’t come to the alienage much but he kept her away from those that did.

She ran a finger along the shell of his ear. “Why are your ears round?” she asked.

“Because I’m a human and humans have round ears,” he answered patiently.

“Why do I have magic and Papa don’t?” she asked. “Mama wasn’t a mage,” she added quietly.

Anders frowned slightly and said “It’s just the way you were made sweetie. My parents weren’t mages either.”

Brit looked up at him. “Did your Mama not like you anymore?”

His frown deepened and he arched an eyebrow at Fenris. “Her mother wanted her in the circle. She called Brit a filthy mage. I took her and ran,” Fenris said.

“I suppose Brit heard that?” Anders sounded disgusted.

“She did.”

Anders fell silent. They could see the edge of the village when Anders stopped walking. Fenris stopped as well and turned to watch them as he began speaking. “Sweetie, there are a lot of people who won’t like you just because you’re a mage. It was my father who called the Templars when he found out what I was. I think my mother still loved me but she didn’t help me either.”

“They sent you away?” she asked in quiet shock.

“Yes, they sent me away to the Ferelden circle.”

“Were you scared?”

“I was very scared,” he replied and began walking again. “You don’t have to be scared though do you.”

She smiled happily and said “Nope. I have Papa.”

“That’s right!” His voice was cheerful but the look he gave Fenris was hard.

Fenris knew what Anders was telling him. He bit back the sharp retort on the tip of his tongue. After all, Fenris had left the only place he had wanted to call home to put his daughter in the hands of an abomination. He wouldn’t leave her…now or ever. He looked away from Anders and said, “What are these Sage Knights?”

“Templars essentially,” Anders replied casually.

Fenris whipped around and growled “What?!?”

Anders stopped in front of him. “I said essentially, don’t get your knickers in a twist,” he replied tightly. “Do you really think I’d put myself at the mercy of true Templars?”

“Explain yourself mage.”

Anders looked furious but his reply was even. “The Sage Knights all have Templar training. Silence, smite, drain mana, everything. They are _not_ addicted to lyrium. Some of them who actually were Templars are but new recruits aren’t. Every Sage Knight I have met was a mage sympathizer before their training and I’ve met quite a few of them. They watch us for possession, track down blood mages and sometimes they protect us from non-mage fools who would kill us. They are subject to the laws of the land just like the rest of us. They serve the same purpose the Templars were supposed to but without the abuse.”

“You still put your life in their hands. It is still subservient. She will be a slave to no one!”

Anders pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed in exasperation. “So nice to see my past arguments didn’t fall on deaf ears. If you would listen a bit now, please. I’m caged. She is not and she never will be. She is free to live, to fall in love, to have children, to do all of the things people who don’t have magic have always taken for granted. But she is still a mage and mages _are_ dangerous. Letting the Sage Knights keep track of your whereabouts is such a small price to pay for all that freedom.”

Brit had been watching them. Her head swiveled back and forth between them. She now frowned and looked up at Anders. “Now Papa isn’t being nice.”

Fenris watched Anders cover his grin with his hand and his laugh with a cough. A smile tugged at the corners of Fenris’ lips. It seemed that they still had a mediator. He turned away from them and started walking. “I am sorry little one. I shall try to be nicer,” he said.

The edge of Honnleath was only a short distance away and they covered it quickly in silence. Fenris let Anders lead as they entered. The village was situated on a gentle slope and they stood at the top. Anders led them to a wood building very near the edge. It was one of a few with a tiled roof.

He knocked once and entered without waiting for a response. There was a desk towards the back of the room and two chairs in front of it. The room was otherwise empty. Anders set Brit on the floor and waited for the Sage Knight behind the desk to acknowledge him. “It’s a bit early isn’t it Anders?” the knight said without looking up from his paperwork.

“Ser Martin, I have a request,” Anders said politely.

Ser Martin finally looked up. “I see we have guests.”

“Ser, this child is a mage. Her name is Brit. Fenris has asked me to teach her.”

He arched an eyebrow and teased, “You want to take an apprentice? What happened to ‘I just want to be left alone’?”

Anders scowled at him. “Fenris is…an old friend. Besides you always tell me that being alone so much isn’t healthy.”

Ser Martin smirked at Anders and his scowl deepened. He turned his gaze first to Brit and then to Fenris. Fenris thought he saw recognition before he turned back to Anders and became serious. “Is he…” Ser Martin started.

“Yes,” interrupted Anders nervously as he glanced at Fenris. “He is.” Fenris frowned. 

“Where would they be staying?” asked Ser Martin.

“At the farm with me.”

“Anders, you know you’re not allowed weapons.”

“The sword isn’t mine technically. I promise I won’t touch it. I probably couldn’t even lift it, never mind swing it.”

Ser Martin looked at Fenris and said “Will you make sure he doesn’t touch your weapon in any fashion?”

“I will,” Fenris replied.

“All right, I will allow this. I think this will be good for you Anders. You’ve been alone far too long.”

Anders folded his arms across his chest and stared at his feet. Fenris had the feeling that there was a lot he hadn’t been told. “May I ask a question?” Fenris said looking at Ser Martin.

“I’ll answer as best as I can,” Ser Martin said.

“Anders has told me that you sometimes protect mages?”

“When they are in danger from ignorance yes.”

Fenris shifted his weight from one foot to the other nervously. “There is a Templar that followed Brit and I to Ferelden. He was taken by your fellows in Denerim but I fear he will escape and find us again.”

“I’ll need his name and a description.”

Fenris looked at Anders. He stared calmly back. “Kain Hawke.” He watched Anders cover his face with his hands.

“The Champion of Kirkwall? That Kain Hawke?” Ser Martin said as his eyes went wide.

“Yes.”

Anders groaned. “Really Fenris!?!” he said furiously. His hands clenched into fists and fell to his sides. Anders took one step toward him and Fenris crouched instinctively.

Ser Martin shot to his feet. “Anders,” he warned.

“You said you’d be nice!” Brit said angrily stomping her foot.

Anders suddenly turned and stalked a few steps towards the door. He locked his fingers and put his hands on the top of his head. Ser Martin walked around the desk and went to Anders. He began speaking quietly and put a hand on his shoulder.

Fenris knelt down next to Brit. “Do not be angry with Anders little one,” he said quietly.

“He said he’d be nice!” she said again.

“Do you remember the mean man in Denerim?”

She looked up at him confusion clear on her face. “Yes.”

“He hates Anders and we have brought him right to Anders. He has a right to be angry at us.”

“The mean man wants to hurt Anders?” she asked, her eyes wide in surprise.

“Yes. We will have to be watchful.”

“Okay, I won’t be mad.”

When Fenris stood both Ser Martin and Anders were watching them. Anders still had his hands on his head but he looked calmer than he had a moment ago. Fenris was a little surprised that his demon hadn’t shown itself. Brit walked up to Anders and held her arms up. Anders looked at Ser Martin and he nodded slightly. Only then did Anders pick up Brit. She wrapped her arms around him as far as she could and rested her head on his chest. 

“I’m sorry,” she said.

“It’s all right sweetie,” he replied quietly. 

“You three should go back to the farm. I see you have some issues to work out. I will notify Redcliff of Hawke and we’ll up patrols,” Ser Martin ordered. He turned to Anders. “I might stop by sometime but I’ll expect you both here next week.”

“Yes Ser.”

Anders turned to the door and Fenris followed. He followed Anders back up the trail. They were quiet for a while until Anders began talking to Brit about mana. She listened carefully. Fenris watched as Anders conjured a ball of mana. It was a muted blue shot through with green streaks. Anders encouraged her to try.

Fenris smiled when her fourth attempt brought forth a tiny ball of orange. It disappeared almost immediately but Brit was excited with her success. Anders encouraged her and by the time they arrived back at the farm yard her attempts were more successful than not. He set her down as she yawned.

“You should probably take a nap sweetie,” he said kindly.

“Yeah, I tired,” she said yawning again.

Anders finally turned to Fenris. He saw anger flash through his eyes before a mask of calm took over his face. “There is a spare bedroom in the back. You two can use that. I have to work in my garden.”

“I think we should talk.” Fenris said.

“We can talk later,” Anders said through clenched teeth as he walked away.

Fenris sighed and picked up his daughter. She was almost asleep on her feet. He climbed the two steps and opened the door to the house. It was completely unlike his clinic in Darktown. The furniture was simple. A comfortable chair by the fireplace, a table and four chairs in the middle of the main room and a small kitchen area opposite the fireplace. There was no decoration on the walls or on the mantle. The house smelled of soap.

He found a hallway with two doors. Fenris peeked inside the first one. It was as simple and clean as the main room. A bed pushed against the wall and a dresser at the foot of the bed was the only furnishings. A single feather sat on the dresser. Fenris backed out and opened the other door. It looked exactly the same.

After he pulled down the blanket on the bed Fenris noticed the orange tabby he’d seen this morning. He jumped up on the bed and looked passively up at Fenris. He stared back at the cat for a few moments before he set Brit gently on the bed. The cat curled himself up against her back and closed his eyes. Brit hugged Sarah and started snoring softly. 

Not knowing what else he could do Fenris sat on the floor beside the door and leaned against the wall. He closed his eyes and fell into a fitful slumber.

Years of running from slavers and his former master had made Fenris a light sleeper. He opened his eyes and looked around. Trying to find what woke him. Brit whined in her sleep. Fenris stood and she whined again.

He shook her shoulder and said “Wake up little one.”

She pawed at his hand and whined. Tears squeezed out from closed eyes.

“Brit,” he said sharply. She still did not wake.

Fenris turned and ran out of the room and out of the house. Anders was walking toward the house with his eyes cast down. “Anders!” he yelled.

Anders looked up. He must have seen something in Fenris’ face because he started running. “She will not wake,” he said when Anders was climbing the steps. 

“Shit,” he cursed and pushed past Fenris.

He followed him into the house and to the bedroom where she slept. Brit was whining and thrashing but she still wouldn’t wake. “This shouldn’t be happening. She’s too young,” Anders muttered.

“What is happening?” Fenris asked forcing down the panic he felt.

“I think she’s in the fade. I don’t know what’s happening. I can help but I’ll have to go to sleep…”

Fenris heard nothing after that. He quickly pulled his gauntlets off and dropped them on the floor. If Anders needed to sleep, Fenris would put him to sleep. “Anders!” he yelled.

Anders looked up and shock had barely registered before Fenris’ fist connected with his jaw. Anders staggered a step back. His eyes rolled to show only whites and Fenris hurried forward to catch him as he crumpled. Fenris gently laid him out next to the bed and sat between them. He looked to Brit on the bed and saw Pounce sitting above the thrashing girl and staring at him.

Fenris looked away from his accusing eyes and thought, Please, let her be all right.


	8. Chapter 8

Anders opened his eyes to the shifting colors and landscape of the Fade. “I’m going to kill that bloody elf,” he muttered as he stood.

He looked around and found that he was in Kirkwall’s alienage. Hearing a voice from the door he was standing next to, Anders opened it and stepped inside. It looked like Merrill’s home but with a different decorator. Brit stood by the far wall, her face a mixture of hurt and confusion. Standing in front of her was a blonde elf woman.

“But we can still be a family!” the elf woman pleaded.

“Don’t believe her Brit,” Anders said as he walked forward past the elf to stand in front of Brit.

“Anders?” she asked looking up at him. “How come you’re here?”

“We’re not really in Kirkwall sweetie. We’re in the Fade.”

“But, home….and Mama…”

“Come child, do not listen to him,” the demon purred.

Anders knelt down. “That’s not your mother. It’s a demon who is using your memories to get what it wants.”

Brit’s eyes went wide in fear. Her voice trembled when she spoke. “I don’t wanna be posesst!”

“Shhhh,” he soothed. “That’s why I’m here sweetie.” And just how did she know about that, he thought angrily.

She wrapped her arms around his neck and buried her face in his shoulder. Anders held her tightly as he stood and faced the demon.

“Tch, why must you interfere,” it said as the elf faded into a desire demon. “Perhaps I can tempt you instead since your guardian isn’t here.”

It shifted forms again and Anders was looking at Karl. “You’ll have to try harder than that,” he said coldly. He wondered what it had meant by his guardian. Anders looked around for a way out of the room. The demon was blocking their only exit. Brit trembled in his arms and he absently rubbed her back. The desire demon shifted forms again and this time he saw Solona. He saw Warden Commander Solona, not Queen Solona. Her short braided red hair was a lot longer now. The sharp green eyes were wrong too. They were softer now that she had married her true love.

“Can’t you get anything right?” he sneered. Anders tried to walk around the demon and reach the door but she blocked him. They were both going to be in a lot of trouble if he couldn’t get away from this demon. Normally he’d have frozen it or threw a fireball at it but it was hard enough for him to cast anything offensive without a staff and add holding a child into the mix and that made it nearly impossible. The demon shifted shapes again. Anders put his hand on the back of Brit’s head to make sure she didn’t turn around. This time it looked like Fenris.

“Andraste’s knickers, you really are desperate. Why would I want him? He doesn’t even like me.”

“I can change that,” Fenris’ deep voice purred.

Brit began struggling. “Papa!”

“Brit please, it’s not him!”

She lashed out at him with her hands and feet. “Let me go! I want Papa!”

One of her wild kicks connected with his groin. Anders sunk to his knees with a groan and she easily struggled out of his weakened grip. Brit turned around just in time to see a sword point thrust through Fenris’ chest. Anders watched through watering eyes as the sword was wrenched upwards. The desire demon shifted back to itself and screamed before it was reduced to a pile of ashes.

“PAPA!” Brit screamed. She rounded on him and yelled, “You let him hurt Papa!”

Brit began hitting him again. Anders covered his sensitive bits and let her vent. He watched their savior over her head as her assault slowed. The sword was sheathed and the knight strapped his shield, with Grey Warden heraldry, to his back. Full plate with a winged helm hid his face but then Anders had never seen his face. Not like this. He remembered Kristoff’s rotting corpse was the only face he’d ever known for the spirit.

She grabbed the fabric at his shoulders and began weeping quietly. He risked a hug and she leaned against him. With her in his arms once more, Anders staggered to his feet. He never took his eyes off of the knight.

“Justice?” he said quietly.

“Yes. It is I.”

“Where…How….” Anders stammered.

“Peace friend. I shall explain. After that cowardly man stabbed us I was freed. I took you to safety and fed you three healing potions but I was pulled back here before you woke.”

“Then why haven’t you shown yourself earlier?”

“I did not think you would want to see me.”

Anders didn’t know whether to laugh or cry. He wanted to throw a fireball at something for sure. “I’ve been racked with guilt all these years because I didn’t know what happened. I thought you had died to save me you damn stupid spirit!” he yelled. “Have you been watching me this whole time?”

“I have. The mortals you have let control you have weakened your ability to fight. I watch your dreams and keep the demons away.”

He sighed. “I don’t have much choice. What we did was wrong Justice. I’m simply paying the price. You should have let me die.”

“That would not have been just. Were it not for my influence you would never have agreed to it.”

“And if it weren’t for my anger you would have never thought of it.”

Silence fell between them. Brit sniffed and looked up at Anders then over at Justice. “What did you do?” she asked her voice hitching a little.

Anders looked down at her and smiled sadly. “Something very bad sweetie.”

“Who is he?” she asked while rubbing her eyes.

“This is a spirit. His name is Justice. You can trust him.”

“But he hurt Papa,” she said sadly.

“I did not kill your father child. I killed a demon,” Justice said.

“A demon that looked like your father,” he clarified and shot an annoyed glance at the spirit.

“Papa’s not hurt?” she asked hopefully.

“No he’s not. If you wake up now Brit, you can see for yourself that he’s all right. Your father is very worried about you.”

“How?” she sniffled.

“Close your eyes,” he said. Brit scrunched them shut. “And think to yourself ‘I’m going to wake up.’”

Seconds later she disappeared and Anders dropped his hands to his side. He took a hesitant step forward. “Listen I…I’m sorry,” he said. “I thought….I didn’t know that would happen.”

“We have done each other great harm, my friend. I can only ease your suffering by guarding your dreams.”

“Could you possibly look after Brit? While she’s here I mean.”

“Is she truly the lyrium elf’s child?”

“Yes. She’s a mage and she must have some pretty strong desires to attract a demon when she’s so young.”

“I will watch after her.”

“Thank you Justice. I’d like to see you again sometime. If you like. I’ve missed you terribly,” he said in a rush. Without waiting for a reply he closed his eyes and fled the Fade. When he opened his eyes, Pounce was sitting on his chest and licking the bruise blooming on his cheek. He turned his head and saw Fenris kneeling by the bed. Brit was kneeling on the bed and she was sobbing into his neck. Fenris made low shushing noises and Anders looked away. Holding onto Pounce carefully he stood and quietly left the room.

Anders walked out the front door and collapsed into the rocking chair that sat on the porch. Pounce settled onto his lap and began purring. His hands moved restlessly in the orange fur. It had been a very emotional day for Anders. First Fenris shows up out of nowhere begging him to teach his mage child and then it’s very likely he’ll have to face the man who almost killed him sometime soon. Now Brit’s emotional nap, the demon and Justice. He didn’t quite know how he should be feeling.

So he sat and watched the breeze rustle the leaves of the trees. He soothed his boiling emotions by listening to Ser-Pounce-a-Lot purring. He eased his restless body by slowly rocking the chair and running his fingers through the soft fur, and slowly he found a bit of peace. An unknown length of time later Anders watched Fenris step out the front door and sit on the top step. He leaned on the rail and stretched his legs.

“I’ll bet you’ve always wanted to do that,” Anders said. “Did you enjoy knocking me out?” Anders couldn’t keep the bitterness out of his voice.

Fenris looked down and the tips of his ears turned pink. “I am sorry. I was worried.”

“Next time you could let me finish speaking before you decide to hit me again. I have a few sleeping potions. They would have worked just as quickly and hurt a good deal less.”

Fenris shook his head and said nothing.

“How is she?” Anders asked quietly.

“All right for now. She is inside playing with your other cat.”

“What do mean ‘for now’?”

“Three times now she has told me that she does not want to be a mage.”

“That’s pretty common. Give her some time Fenris. Her world has been turned upside down.”

“Why do you have sleeping potions?” Fenris asked after a brief silence.

“Sometimes I have trouble sleeping. I figure it’s too many nights awake healing or writing.”

Another silence fell but it was different than all the others. There was no argument, no sharp words just two people enjoying a pleasant evening. He found himself thinking of the demon. It had been his desire that caused it to turn into Fenris. As he studied the elf Anders realized for the first time just how gorgeous he was. The perfect messy hair, slender, well defined muscles even the graceful yet deadly way he moved. Anders looked away and shook his head when he realized he was half hard. Pathetic Anders, he thought, lusting after the first person to willingly walk to your door. He didn’t look at Fenris when he stood.

“I have started cooking us supper,” he said.

Anders nodded and said, “I’ll be there in a minute.”

Fenris disappeared into the house. He waited until his trousers fit properly before following.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Phew! I can't believe the amount of dialogue in these last two chapters!


	9. Chapter 9

They sat around the table eating the stew that Fenris had made. It was simple but good. The three of them didn’t speak. None of them had eaten any lunch and they were far too hungry to stop and talk. One by one the bowls were pushed to the middle of the table, Anders having had three servings.

“Anders how come your not fat?” Brit asked innocently.

Fenris stifled a laugh. Anders grinned. “My body uses it up quicker than yours so I eat more.”

“Will I eat that much when I grow up?”

“No sweetie, it’s not because I’m a mage. Mages eat as much as non-mages.”

“How come then?”

His grin faltered and he looked at the table. “I’m a Grey Warden.”

“Brit, how about you go sit in that big chair and practice for a bit? Anders and I need to speak,” Fenris said saving Anders from the next question.

“Okay,” she said reluctantly. She pushed her chair back and skipped to the comfortable chair. Brit squeezed in next to Pounce and Stripes jumped up to her lap. “Hello kitty!” Fenris heard her say quietly.

Fenris looked around when he felt the pull of magic in his markings. Anders had two small rectangular tubs full of water set on the table. He was heating the water in one of them using his magic. It was the first time since this morning that he’d seen Anders use his magic. He hadn’t even healed the bruise on his cheek.

Anders put the dirty bowls into the hot water and threw a dry towel at Fenris. He caught it easily and moved to stand next to Anders. Despite his old habit of never shutting up Anders said nothing. He used a rag to wash a bowl and put it in the other tub of water. Fenris swished the bowl around a little before taking it out and using the towel to dry it.

When the silence became more than he could stand Fenris asked quietly, “What has happened to you?”

“I lived,” he said sadly. “I suppose there’s no putting this off anymore.”

“No.”

Another bowl fell into the clear water. “The first thing you should know it that I’m not an…” Anders paused and looked at Brit. He saw that she was occupied with Stripes and he continued quietly. “I’m not an abomination. When Hawke….” He closed his eyes and gulped. “When Hawke stabbed me we were separated. Justice saved me.”

Fenris thought back to that day. “The ghostly knight,” he murmured.

“What?” Anders asked curiously turning to face him.

Fenris cleared his throat. “Varric and I watched a ghostly knight carry you away.”

“Full plate, winged helm, sword and shield?”

“Yes.” Fenris plucked the bowl out of the water.

“That was Justice.”

“How did your d…” Fenris started. He stopped talking abruptly when Anders’ head whipped around to face him. His eyes narrowed in anger.

“Don’t you ever say that in front of her,” he said quietly and fiercely. “Unless you want a repeat of this afternoon.”

“Why would she care what I call it,” he asked suspiciously.

“Because I told her she could trust him. He promised me he’d look after her when she’s there.”

Fenris opened his mouth and sucked in an angry breath to reply when he was interrupted.

“Look!” Brit’s happy voice caught their attention. “Papa, Anders look!”

She stood just beside the chair. Above her hand, about the size of her palm, was an orange ball of mana. It didn’t waver or disappear like it had before. It sat there bathing her face in false firelight.

“Very good!” Anders cooed immediately. He pulled his hands out of the cooling water, shook them and wiped them on his tunic. “Now I want you to try something else. Watch.”

Anders lips quirked up in a half smile as he brought up his own ball of mana. Fenris watched, fascinated in spite of himself. The curves straightened and points appeared, the sphere flattening out into a cube.

“Wow, you can change it?” Brit said in awe. Her concentration broken, her little ball disappeared.

“Yes you can. Now you give it a try,” he said encouragingly.

They watched as she brought up her mana again. It started to flatten but disappeared. She looked up in frustration.

“Keep trying little one,” Fenris said. “You are doing well.”

Brit beamed happily at the praise and turned to sit in the chair again. She gave each cat a pet before trying again. Fenris heard the splash of the third bowl and turned back to Anders. He plucked the bowl out of the clear water and began drying it.

“I can’t imagine why you trust me to teach her but you must trust me on this,” Anders said calmly. “I can’t be with her every time she sleeps.”

Spoons plunked into the water as Fenris thought. Why did he trust Anders? It had been his only option in Kirkwall but things were different in Ferelden. He could simply find an apostate willing to train her and never have to see Anders again. As he dried the spoons he thought of what he knew of Anders. Kind, compassionate, often misguided by his spirit, never cruel, intelligent and very competent. He also hated Blood magic as much as Fenris did. Varric had said that he was different but from what Fenris had seen today the only one of those things that had really changed was the spirit. Without its influence Anders seemed calmer. He was surprised to find that he actually did trust the mage.

“Very well,” Fenris said. “How did you end up here?”

Anders scrubbed the stew pot. “Well, I woke in a cave on the Wounded Coast. It was dark and I was alone and confused.” He absently pressed a hand to his heart. “And in more pain than I’d thought possible. I finished healing what Justice couldn’t and made my way back to Kirkwall. It was easy to sneak in during all the confusion. I’d also left my coat and feathers in the cave.”

He handed the pot to Fenris. It was dried and set on the table. Anders picked up the tub of water and motioned for Fenris to follow. He picked up the other tub and followed him to the door. Anders opened it and dumped the water over the porch rail. He leaned on the rail and continued.

“I stowed away on a ship. I didn’t care where it was going as long as it left Kirkwall. It was three days before the ship set sail. I was careful not to get caught though. When the ship docked I was in Highever. I was full of guilt. All those people dead…” he trailed off. Fenris watched Anders carefully. His brows furrowed in thought, slight frown pulling at the corner of his lips, a hand held out in front of him. “All that blood,” Anders whispered. He suddenly scrubbed his hand against his thigh.“I headed straight for Kinloch Hold and turned myself in to the first Templar I saw.”

“Ser Martin?” Fenris guessed. He dumped the water over the rail and leaned on it.

Anders looked up suddenly, like he’d forgotten Fenris was there. “Yes. I didn’t know that Alistair and the Sage Knights had taken the tower. I told him who I was and what I’d done…and waited for the sword. He took my staff and bound my hands and took me to see the king instead. He sent me to Denerim. Ser Martin took me. Kept my mana drained the whole trip.” He shivered. “I told him everything. Rolan, Hawke, the mage underground…you and all the others. Everything that had happened since Justice and I joined.” He pushed off the rail and walked to the rocking chair. Anders sat and set the tub in his lap. Fenris peeked in the open door and saw that Brit was curled up in the chair with the two cats on and next to her. He sat on the steps and waited for Anders to continue.

“Ser Martin never once hit or abused me. He didn’t take advantage. He was kind, sympathetic. I don’t deserve his kindness.” He paused and looked out across the farmyard, seeing things that Fenris couldn’t. He was lost in the past. “They left me in the dungeons of Fort Drakon for a month. There were two Sage Knights guarding my cell at all times. Eventually I stopped begging them to execute me. Ser Martin guarded me often. He always talked, was always kind.”

“Why did this man have such an interest?” Fenris asked.

“I don’t know,” he said sadly.

“How did you end up here?”

“Solona Amell Therin, the Queen of Ferelden, the Hero of Ferelden, Commander of the Grey, and Arlessa of Amaranthine.”

“Amell?”

Anders looked up and smiled. “She’s Hawke’s cousin. I knew her from the tower. She saved me from death once by making me a Grey Warden. She saved me from death again.” His smile faltered and sadness etched his features. “It took the whole month I was in Fort Drakon for her and Alistair to come up with this little arrangement. From what I understand Alistair wanted to leave me in the dungeon. She convinced him that if I was left there it would be no better than execution, which they both agreed wasn’t an option. So I was given these rules: No weapons, you choose where but you’re not allowed to leave, you will not make trouble for the Sage Knight jailer and he will have the final say on big decisions. Luckily, my jailer turned out to be Ser Martin.”

“If you wished death so badly why haven’t you killed yourself?” Fenris asked quietly.

“I promised someone very important to me long ago that I wouldn’t. Ser Martin stayed with me here at the farm for three months before he truly believed that. It’s the only reason I managed to get a kitchen knife,” he said ruefully.

“Why keep to yourself? You have been given an opportunity to start anew.”

“I’m a criminal Fenris. After all I’ve done I don’t deserve another chance,” he said bitterly. “Besides,” he said as he stood. “Who could possibly want to love a monster?”

Fenris watched him turn and enter the house. He sat there and thought about what he’d been told. The spirit was truly gone. Anders would never have turned himself in to a Templar before. Remorse and guilt had filled his voice. He remembered the way Anders had scrubbed his hand. Unconsciously he rubbed his own hands against his thighs.

“He feels...unworthy,” Fenris murmured.

It was a feeling Fenris knew well. He too had the blood of innocents staining his hands, killed simply because a man had ordered him to. It had been hard to move on and find worth in himself.

“He cannot move on,” he whispered.

Fenris stood, suddenly confused by the sympathy he felt for a man he’d always hated. The urge to try and help him was almost overwhelming. He followed Anders into the house.


	10. Chapter 10

Anders finally gave up and opened his eyes. His sleep had been broken by horrible dreams and he’d actually been awake for at least an hour. There was no window in his room but he thought the sun was up. He gave Pounce a scratch behind the ears before moving him off of his chest. The old cat merely opened his eyes and closed them again. He sat up and rubbed his eyes with the heel of his hands then pushed his long hair behind his ears.

“Time to start another day Pounce,” he said.

Pounce opened his eyes again and stared passively up at him. Anders gave him a fond scratch and stood up to dress. He pulled on clean trousers and a clean tunic and went out to the kitchen. There he found a warm pot of tea and Fenris already sitting at the table. There were dark circles under his eyes like he hadn’t slept.

Grabbing a cup from the cupboard, Anders sat opposite Fenris and poured some tea into his cup. “I didn’t think you drank tea,” he said.

A corner of his mouth quirked upward. “It was all I could find,” Fenris replied.

Anders took a sip of the tea. It tasted perfect, not too strong but not too weak with just a hint of honey. “Good,” he said taking another sip.

“I have a request,” Fenris said shyly after a short pause. He glanced at Anders through the fringe of his hair, cheeks coloring slightly. “Brit needs some more clothes…we left with what little Varric had gathered and nothing else.”

Anders felt a stab of sympathy for them. He knew perfectly well what it was like to have nothing. “You have no coin?” he asked keeping his voice carefully neutral. He didn’t really want another argument. He looks so adorable, he thought. Anders shoved the thought out of his mind and hid his frown behind the teacup.

“I have very little,” Fenris said looking at the table.

He set the cup down on the table and stood. A short walk to his room and he pulled open one of the drawers on his dresser. Taking a coin purse and a comb from the scattered contents, Anders went back and dropped the coin purse on the table. “There should be enough to get her a few things.” Anders sat down and began combing the sleep tangles from his hair.

“Thank you,” Fenris said quietly.

“You’re welcome.” Anders continued combing his hair and silence fell. Suddenly he realized Fenris was staring at him. “What?” he asked.

They stared at one another for a few moments. Fenris looked embarrassed at being caught. “I…” he began. “Are you ever going to heal your cheek?”

Anders frowned. He didn’t believe for a second that Fenris had been staring at the bruise he had put there but Brit chose that moment to wander into the room. She sat at the table and yawned.

“You can fix ouches?” she asked sleepily.

Anders arched an eyebrow at Fenris, who quickly looked away, before setting the comb on the table and turning to Brit. “Yes. It’s called healing. Watch.”

He hooked his hair behind his ear and ran his hand down his jaw line. His fingers glowed blue and he watched Brit’s eyes widen. A big smile lit up her face and she bounced in her seat.

“Will you teach me?” she said excitedly.

“I will but it’s a bit complex for you right now. We’ll start with simple stuff first okay?”

She pouted for a moment but said “Okay.”

“Would you like to stay with Anders while I go to the village Brit?” Fenris asked her.

“Wait, what?” Anders asked, confused. They had showed up unannounced at his doorstep yesterday morning and inserted themselves into his life. It had been barely a day and Fenris wanted to leave her here with him? Did he hear anything I said yesterday, he thought.

Fenris gave him a steady look and said, “I trust you.”

Brit looked from Fenris to Anders and back to Fenris. “We’re home?” she asked hopefully.

“Yes little one,” he said with a small smile.

“Yaaay!” She clapped her hands excitedly.

Anders looked from one to the other. Her excitement and relief were visible. Fenris was willing to trust him with the one thing in this world that he held most dear, his daughter. Fenris had never trusted him before and he knew that Fenris wanting to trust him now was a big show of faith. It would go a long ways to ease the tension between them that hadn’t dulled in five years. He realized suddenly that he wanted Fenris to trust him. It would be easier for Brit if they weren’t fighting all the time as well.

“How long do you think you’ll be gone?” he asked. Immediately after he added in disgust, “Maker, I sound like a worried housewife! Forget I asked.”

Brit looked puzzled but Fenris simply nodded. He kissed Brit on the cheek and she gave him a brief hug. “Bye Papa!” she said.

“I shall try not to be too long,” Fenris said.

“Oh get before I find something to throw at you,” Anders said irritably.

Fenris picked up the coin purse with a small teasing smile and left without another word, pausing only to retrieve his sword from his room. Anders quickly finished combing his hair and tied it back. Brit watched him intently. “Would you like some tea?” he asked to break the awkward silence that had fallen.

She nodded. Anders stood and pulled another cup out of the cupboard and filled it halfway. As she took a tentative sip Anders moved behind her and combed her hair. He left briefly to find her hair ties. She sat still as he tied her hair into pigtails like it had been yesterday. Brit sighed sadly as Anders took his seat.

“What’s wrong sweetie?” he asked.

“Mama always fixed my hair,” she said sadly.

“You miss her don’t you?” he asked gently.

Brit scrubbed at her eyes and said, “Uh-huh. Did you miss your Mama?”

“Yes. I missed her terribly.”

“Are you going make food like Mama always did?”

Anders realized suddenly the role he’d been accidentally thrust into. He had never expected to be anyone’s father but being Brit’s surrogate mother felt a bit strange. He thought briefly of his own experience and quickly decided that there was no real harm in letting Brit replace her mother with himself. It might even help her feel a bit better to have some things feel normal to her in this strange place. They were going to be here for quite a while after all. 

“Well,” Anders said as he stood. “I can certainly fix us some breakfast but I can’t guarantee it’ll taste like your Mama’s.”

She grinned up at him. “That’s okay.” He watched tension drain from her that he hadn’t known was there. Anders smiled and she started chattering as he fixed a simple breakfast of porridge. After they had eaten and the dishes cleaned and put away she sat at the table swinging her feet.

“What’re we going to do now?” she asked.

“Well, I have to work in my garden. You can sit outside and practice.”

“Okay!”

Brit jumped down and ran to the front door then waited for him. Anders followed and she took hold of his hand. He pushed open the door and almost stumbled when Stripes darted out the door. Brit giggled and said “Silly kitty!”

“I should have let him out earlier. This way sweetie.”

Anders made his way across the yard to his vegetable patch. There was a tree at the very edge and he sat her beneath it. “You stay here where I can see you okay,” he said.

She flopped down and sat cross legged. “Okay.” 

As Anders worked through the rows pulling weeds he watched her. She practiced diligently for about half an hour. Finally giving up when the top half of her mana ball became square but the bottom half remained round. He watched as she stood up and began exploring. She never ventured far from the tree however. Eventually she carefully made her way down the row he was in.

“Could I help?” she asked squatting down.

Anders sat back on his heels. “You could help by getting rid of a few of these.” He picked up a largish rock. She grinned widely and took the rock and carefully made her way out of the row to set it down at the edge. They worked for another hour. Anders stood and gathered the weeds he had picked and took them to the compost pile at the far end of the field. He was impressed with her little pile of stones. She dropped her rock on top of the pile and looked up at him.

“Are we done?” she asked.

“Now we get to water the plants.”

She took his hand and they walked to the pond, following a furrow in the ground to a small dam that had been built into the furrow and the bank of the pond. The bank was a bit steep here and the very top of the dam sat just above it. Anders pulled up a gate and watched water flow through the dam and into the furrow. Brit followed the flow of water back to the field. Anders followed her.

“That’s neat!” she exclaimed.

Anders watched the flow of water. Brit knelt down and put one hand into the flow, watching it swirl around her fingers. After the whole patch had water sitting in the rows he was struck by an idea. He squatted down next to her. “Can you swim Brit?” he asked. 

She looked up at him and shook her head.

“Would you like to learn?”

Brit stood and said excitedly, “Could I?”

Anders stood and held out his hand. She took hold and they made their way back to the pond. He pushed the gate down on the little dam and took her to the opposite side of the pond. Sitting at the edge, he pulled his boots off.

“Are we going to get our clothes wet?” she asked.

“Yes, but we can change to dry ones later.” He stood and lifted her up and settled her at his hip. “Hold on to me okay.”

She nodded and grabbed the back of his tunic. Anders slowly waded out into the water. It was only a little cold but it felt wonderful after working in the hot sun. Brit gasped when the cool water hit her feet. She giggled when his tunic sat on top of the water briefly before sinking. He was waist deep when he stopped. Brit giggled and kicked her feet. He smiled and splashed water at her. She yelped then grinned and splashed him back. 

“I’m going to sink down a bit okay.”

She nodded and he settled on his knees. The water was now halfway up his chest and at her shoulders. Brit smiled and slowly kicked her legs. She swung her free arm around and watched the water swirl around. What a brave girl, he thought smiling.

“Now, I’m going to teach you how to float on your back.”

“You can float?” she asked in amazement. 

“You can. Feel my hand on your back? Good, now let go and I’ll hold you up.”

She let go of his tunic and he pushed her bottom half back to the surface. Brit smiled up at him as she lay on the water, supported only by his hands. “Relax and push your tummy out a bit,” he said. Anders slowly dropped his hands and she remained on the surface. He smiled and brought them out of the water. “And now you’re floating.”

“Can you move?” she asked curiously.

“Kick your feet.”

Brit kicked a couple of times and floated backwards. Anders followed in a crouch that would have been awkward on land. She squealed in excitement and kicked again. He followed her as she kicked herself around the pond. They splashed at each other and laughed when Anders tripped on something and fell face first in the water. He managed a quick rescue because Brit had begun to sink while she laughed. Eventually they ended up sitting in the water near the bank.

She leaned against him tiredly and said “I’m hungry.”

“So am I sweetie. Let’s go inside and get dry then we can eat.”

Anders stood when she did. He pulled off his tunic and wrung the water out. He grabbed his boots as she took his other hand and they dripped their way back to the house. They left a trail of water to the bedrooms. Anders handed her a towel and said, “Go in there and dry off then wrap up in the towel.”

“Okay,” she said. She disappeared into the bedroom and he went into his. He left the door open a tiny bit so he could hear her. Anders pulled his wet trousers and smallclothes off and dried himself. He pulled on clean ones but noticed he only had one clean dry shirt. Holding the shirt he knocked on her door and opened it a bit. “All wrapped up?” he asked.

She pulled open the door and smiled up at him. Brit had the towel wrapped around her like a blanket. Her wet dress sat in a heap on the floor. He took a moment to put it with his own wet clothes in his dirty basket. “Do you have a clean dress?” he asked.

“I don’t think so,” she said frowning.

“That’s all right. You can borrow one of my shirts.”

“But you’re so big,” she said.

Anders smiled at her as he laced the front ties up to the top and knotted them. He then tied a knot in each shoulder. Anders held the shirt up and open and she raised her hands, letting the towel drop. He quickly pulled it over her head. It was still a little big to stay on her shoulders so he adjusted the knots. She giggled and swung the sleeves around. When he caught one of her hands, he rolled the sleeves up to her elbows and repeated the process with her other arm. The hem of the shirt sat at just below her knees. It was still too big around but nothing could be done about that.

Brit giggled and said, “I look silly.”

“Maybe a bit,” Anders said as he smiled. “But I think you look more cute than silly.”

She giggled again and the tips of her ears turned pink.

“Let’s get some lunch.”

Brit followed him into the kitchen where they ate a simple lunch of bread and cheese. She yawned and stretched. “Did I wear you out?” asked Anders.

“Yeah,” she said happily. “But it was fun.”

“How about a nap?” he asked through a yawn of his own.

She looked down at the table shyly. “Could I sleep with you?”

Anders smiled and said “How about we have a nap in my comfy chair.”

She smiled tiredly and said, “Okay.”

They got up from the table and Anders moved the chair around so he could see the door. He disturbed Pounce who was sleeping on the arm. Anders gave him a scratch and sat down. Brit climbed into his lap and squirmed around until she was comfortable. She ran her hands curiously through the light dusting of blonde hair on his chest but to Anders’ surprise did not ask about it. She merely settled her head against his chest and clasped her hands lightly in front of her face. Anders curled his arms around her.

“Anders,” she said sleepily. “I like you.”

“I like you too sweetie.”

They were both asleep in minutes.


	11. Chapter 11

Fenris opened the door and froze. Anders and Brit were both sleeping in the big chair before the fireplace but it had been turned slightly. Brit was snoring softly curled up in his lap and his arms cradled her. It was rather sweet. But she seemed to be wearing his tunic. That obviously left Anders shirtless. Fenris had never seen quite so much of his skin at once. Anders didn’t look much like any mage he’d ever seen. Magistars were soft and fat. They did nothing for themselves and their bodies showed it. Most mages he’d run across in the rest of Thedas were fit but still soft. They stayed in shape but lacked the hard work that made muscles firm and toned.

He was neither fat nor soft. Anders had always given a scrawny impression under his bulky coat back in Kirkwall. Fenris could see now that he was just slender. What Fenris could see of his upper body was firm and toned but not bulky like a warrior would have been. It was…fascinating, and maybe just a tiny bit arousing. Anders was certainly more pleasant to look at now than what he remembered in the past.

Fenris jumped when Anders spoke. “You’re staring again,” he said quietly.

“I…uhh…” he stuttered. Fenris shook his head and finally walked in the house to set the packages in his arms on the table. “I thought you were asleep.”

“I was until you opened the door.” Anders carefully stood and placed the still sleeping girl back in the chair. She resettled but didn’t wake.

Fenris tried not to look when Anders turned but couldn’t really help himself. His back looked just as firm as his front. He quickly looked back down at the packages when Anders turned to him.

“Let’s talk outside. Don’t want to wake her,” Anders said as he walked toward the door.

Fenris turned to follow and almost ran into him when he stopped abruptly.

“Damn it Stripes,” he muttered. Anders turned to look at the cat and Fenris followed his gaze. Stripes sat on one of the chairs around the table calmly licking his paw. “That’s twice you’ve almost tripped me you naughty kitty.”

The cat looked up, meowed once and resumed his paw licking. Anders shook his head with a fond smile and finally walked outside. Fenris glared at the cat then followed. He didn’t really want to run into Anders’ backside.

He stepped out onto the porch and found Anders leaning on the rail with his arms crossed across his chest. “Why do you keep staring at me?” he asked. He didn’t sound confrontational but he didn’t sound particularly friendly either. “I don’t need your pity.”

Fenris was already irritated because he’d been caught staring not once today but twice. It had taken the whole walk to Honnleath to get that long silky hair out of his thoughts. It was going to take even longer to get him out of his mind now, especially if Anders continued to walk around without wearing a tunic.

“I do not pity you mage,” Fenris growled.

“Back to mage are we?” Anders said. The irritation in his voice was very clear.

“What does…,” Fenris started angrily. He shut his mouth with an audible click of teeth, closed his eyes and took a deep breath. Arguing with Anders would help neither of them. Fenris didn’t really know how he could help Anders out of the funk he was in but he knew instinctively that arguing would make it worse.

Fenris held his hands up in surrender. “I am sorry Anders. I do not wish to fight.”

When Fenris opened his eyes Anders was looking down at his bare feet. “I don’t want to fight either but I get enough pity from the villagers.”

Fenris ran a frustrated hand through his hair. To fix this misunderstanding he’d have to tell him why he’d actually been staring. He thought that pulling a tooth might be more comfortable than saying ‘you’re attractive.’ He sat heavily in the rocking chair. “I was not staring out of pity. I had simply noticed that you are…,” he paused and took another deep breath. “You are very attractive.”

“Well,” Anders said slowly. “That’s certainly not what I expected.”

Fenris looked up at him. “What did you expect?”

“I’m not sure really. I didn’t even know you were attracted to men.”

He wasn’t sure what to say that wouldn’t start another fight. So he said nothing and looked at his feet. An awkward silence fell between them.

“Fenris,” Anders said hesitantly. “I’m sorry.”

“For what?” he asked looking up.

Anders was still looking at his feet. “Assuming the worst. It’s just that my life has been one disaster after another. Mostly all my fault. If we’re going to make this work…we need to learn to get along.” After a pause he added, “I don’t know if this will make it worse or not but, I think you’re gorgeous.”

“I…ah…am not sure what to say.”

“Let’s just sweep this whole conversation under the rug and start over,” Anders said looking up with a half smile.

Fenris stood and nodded. “All right, I have a question though. Why is Brit wearing your tunic?”

“We went swimming in the pond,” Anders said and smiled fondly. “I taught her the back float and we just…had fun.”

He sounded almost happy and Fenris suppressed a smile. There were many reasons he’d left her here this morning but there were two main ones. Anders needed to know that he trusted him with his daughter and Fenris had hoped her ability to make anyone smile would help Anders out of his depression. Maybe it could work. He didn’t have to try hard to hide the fact that he was pleased with the results.

“And you are not wearing a different one because…”

Anders smiled sheepishly. “That’s my last clean one. I need to get the wash done while there’s still daylight to dry them.”

“I shall gather the clothes and we can work together.”

“That’s a good idea actually. I need to make some potions tonight too.”

“What will you do with the potions?” Fenris asked curiously.

Anders shrugged. “I sell them to the apothecary in the village. The wash tubs and clothes line are over there. I’ll go fill the tubs.”

Fenris nodded and Anders turned and walked around to the side of the house. He stepped back inside, saw that Brit was still asleep and went back to the bedrooms to gather the dirty clothes. Fenris left his gauntlets and sword in his room and gathered their dirty clothes. He found the basket full of Anders dirty laundry and dropped the clothes in his hands on top. He picked up the basket and walked back outside, leaving the door open in case Brit woke.

When he walked around the side of the house Anders had two tubs full of water. A washboard and soap bubbles were sitting in one and the other was clear. Fenris set the basket down by the tub with the bubbles.

“I’ll wash and you can wring them out and hang. Pins are on the line,” Anders said.

Fenris nodded and waited. They worked quickly and quietly. At some point Brit had woke and found them. She gave him a hug and sat next to Anders, her legs completely covered by the large shirt. Brit filled up the silence by telling Fenris what they had done that morning.

“Do you like swimming little one?” Fenris asked her as he hung a shirt.

“Oh yes!” she exclaimed. “It was lots of fun!”

“There,” Anders said dropping a pair of trousers into the clear water. “All done.”

He stood and hefted the tub of water and walked a ways toward the woods. Fenris tried not to stare at the mage while he wrung the water out of the trousers. Anders dumped the water and returned for the other tub as Fenris hung the trousers, turning his back to Anders. Brit stood and brushed dirt off of the shirt where she’d sat. Fenris held her hand when she reached up. She held her other hand up for Anders when he drew close. Fenris noticed that Anders did not hesitate to hold her offered hand. They walked together around to the front of the house.

“Let us get you dressed, little one, so that Anders may have his tunic back,” Fenris said.

“Okay,” she said happily.

Anders stayed on the porch petting his cats while Fenris and Brit went in the house. Fenris grabbed the packages and they went back to their bedroom. He handed her a blue dress and folded the others and put them into the dresser. When he was finished Brit was gone. He found them on the porch. Thankfully Anders had his shirt on. The shoulders were wrinkled and a bit puckered from the knots.

“Would you like to help me gather some elfroot Brit?” Anders asked.

She looked at him and he nodded. Brit smiled and said, “What are we going to do with it?”

“I’m going to make some healing potions,” he said as they walked toward the field.

Fenris sat on the rocking chair and watched them. He saw subtle changes in Anders. Less tension in his shoulders and he smiled a bit more. His eyes were still haunted though. He knew that it would take time for Anders to rejoin the world but he was happy with the small progress that Brit had made today. Fenris could think of no better way to show Anders that he wasn’t the monster he thought he was than with the innocence of a child who accepted him as he was. He just hoped they could maintain the fragile peace between them.


	12. Chapter 12

For the next week their lives fell into a comfortable routine. Fenris left Anders and Brit alone together every morning. He ran errands to Honnleath, hunted rabbits or collected firewood. Anders used the time alone with Brit to teach her about magic. Since she was so young he started with simple things like explaining the Fade to her. Brit was eager to learn and had learned to manipulate her mana very well. Afternoons were spent with all three of them doing chores around the farm.

Evenings were the longest part of the day for Anders. Fenris had come home with a few children’s books one day and he’d begun teaching Brit to read. Anders spent most of his evenings in his rocking chair with a cat or two on his lap reading or thinking. Eventually Fenris and Brit joined him on the porch.

Brit had grown close to Anders and he had to admit he’d grown close to her as well. She never failed to make him smile or laugh. Anders and Fenris had managed to not have another screaming match but there had been tense moments. He wouldn’t have called Fenris an enemy but they weren’t exactly friends either. Despite their strange relationship Anders had grown used to him being around.

They were currently sitting around the table eating a breakfast of dried fruit and tea. Today they would all go to Honnleath. It was time for Anders and Brit to see Ser Martin.

“What do we have to talk about?” Brit asked as she took another piece of fruit from the bowl.

“I usually just tell him about my week,” Anders said. “I suppose he’ll ask about how well you’re doing.”

Fenris rolled a piece of fruit between his finger and thumb. “How well is she doing?” he asked.

Anders smiled at Brit and said, “I think she’s doing great. I don’t have much to compare with though. After my harrowing Irving kept me well away from the apprentices. He thought I was a bad influence.”

Fenris snorted but said nothing. Anders scowled at him but also kept silent. This sort of exchange had become common during the week. Neither openly insulting the other like they would have in Kirkwall but each of them holding their tongue to keep the peace. There had also been many pleasant conversations, unlike Kirkwall when every word exchanged started an argument.

Brit looked from one to the other and asked “When do we go?”

“Right after we’re finished eating. We still have chores to do when we get back,” Anders said.

Breakfast was quickly finished and they started down the path to Honnleath. Anders watched Brit as she skipped ahead of them, a happy smile on her face. It warmed his heart to see a positive change come from what he’d done. She would never know the fear he had. The thought made him smile.

“She really likes you,” Fenris said suddenly from beside him.

“I like her too,” Anders said. “She seems to like it here.”

Fenris nodded in agreement. After a moment he said, “It gets cold here in winter?”

“Yes. You two are going to need a good pair of boots and a coat before it gets here,” he said seriously. He watched Fenris frown disgustedly and added, “Frost bitten toes are hard to heal.”

“Does it snow very much?” Fenris asked.

“All winter,” he answered.

Fenris’ frown deepened and a companionable silence fell. Anders stole a glance at him and tried to imagine him wearing a pair of boots. A chuckle escaped him before he could stop it. Fenris arched an eyebrow at him.

“Sorry,” he said with a laugh. “I just can’t imagine you wearing boots.”

His frown turned to a smile and he said, “I cannot either. I do not wish to have frozen toes however.”

Brit ran back to them and placed herself between them. “Why would your toes get froze Papa?” she asked curiously.

“It gets cold here in winter little one. Anders has just told me it snows all winter.”

She cocked her head to the side in thought. “Is that the white stuff that came from the sky?”

“It is,” Fenris said.

“It always went away in Kirkwall,” she said.

“It stays on the ground all winter here,” Anders said. “It’s not all bad though. You can make snowmen. Have snowball fights or slide down the hill.”

“You slide on snow?” Fenris asked curiously.

“You can with a sled. When I was a child we used an old kite shield.”

“I thought…” Fenris started.

“That I grew up in the tower?” Anders interrupted. He smiled ruefully and said, “I was taken to the tower when I was twelve. Unlike most of the other children I remembered freedom.”

“And that is why you sought to escape,” Fenris said in understanding.

Anders nodded. “I knew what I’d lost.”

“Why did they take you away?” asked Brit looking up at him.

“I had accidently burned down the barn. Father locked me in the cellar for three days before Templars from Redcliffe came,” he said looking down at her. Anders saw a look of fear settle on her face. He picked her up and settled her on his hip. “Don’t worry sweetie.”

“I don’t want to hurt no one,” she said fearfully.

“That’s why I’m teaching you. I didn’t know what I was doing and got a big fireball when I wanted a really little one.” Anders smiled and tapped her nose. “Besides, I can heal ouches remember.” Anders thought she looked a bit relieved when she smiled at him.

“Does that mean your magic did not manifest at twelve?” Fenris asked in confusion.

“No, my magic manifested when I was eight. I was looking for our cat and I found her in the woods. She was very sick and when I touched her side I healed her. Father was always very devout so I’d already known the chant by heart so I hid it.”

“You hid your magic for three years? If you were so devout why did you not turn yourself in?” Fenris asked sounding first impressed then curious.

“I said my father was devout. I just couldn’t see what was so wrong with saving a life,” he said. “Look we’re nearly there.”

The first buildings came into view as they descended the gentle slope. Anders looked down the hill absently and started toward the Sage Knight’s office. He caught sight of a familiar face and froze in fear. Rounding a corner that led to the village gate was Hawke.

“Oh…” he whimpered and took a step back.

He barely heard Brit ask, “Are you okay?” or Fenris say, “Anders?”

Anders took another step backward as Hawke’s eyes met his. He saw them widen in surprised recognition. “Oh no,” he whispered. Suddenly Fenris blocked his view, a hand on his shoulder shaking gently.

“Anders! What is wrong with you?” Fenris said. He couldn’t tell if Fenris was concerned or annoyed. Perhaps he was both.

“H-H-Hawke,” he stammered.

Fenris whipped around and snarled “Where!” Anders watched as he set off at a dead run, his markings turning him into a ghost. He drew his blade and seconds later the villagers in the street were fleeing the sounds of steel on steel. The sound of Brit’s panicked voice broke his paralysis.

“PAPA!!!”

He held her tightly and ran to the Sage Knights office. Without knocking he threw open the door and ran in. Anders saw Ser Martin standing behind his desk, sword half drawn. Shoulder length brown hair swayed with his sudden movement. There was no fear in his soft brown eyes but they quickly filled with concern.

“What’s wrong?” he asked. It was more of a demand than a question.

“He’s here. You have to help him. Dear Maker please help him!” Anders babbled.

“Who is here?” he asked, again more of a demand than a question.

“Hawke! Fenris he…please, you have to help him!”

His face filled with determination and his beard quivered slightly when he ran past Anders, sword fully drawn and reaching for the shield at his back. “Stay here!” he called back as the door slammed shut.

Brit had buried her face in his chest and started sobbing. He began rubbing her back. He turned toward the door and sat on the edge of the desk, sitting Brit on his lap. Anders muttered soothing words to her and listened to the sounds he heard outside, screams and the ring of steel.

Part of him hated hiding like a coward. Most of him saw the necessity. He had to protect Brit and what use would he be anyway? He had no staff. His spells would lack the power he was used to and that could be dangerous. So he listened and waited. The sounds suddenly stopped. He clearly heard Hawke yell, “You won’t always be there Fenris!” Minutes later the door burst open. Ser Martin rushed in half carrying Fenris, who had an arm across his middle.

“Took a nasty hit,” Ser Martin said laying him gently on the floor.

“PAPA!” Brit wailed.

This I can fix, he thought. He set Brit on the floor and knelt down beside Fenris. Anders didn’t see Ser Martin pick her up and he didn’t hear the comforting words he said to her. His focus narrowed to the moaning elf in front of him. Fingers flew over remembered buckles and catches to remove the top of his armor. He pushed up the damaged leather undershirt and sucked in a breath at the gash across Fenris’ stomach. 

Anders hands ghosted over the wound glowing blue. He lost track of time as he repaired organs, blood vessels and muscle. Finally the skin knitted closed around the lyrium brands that were completely undamaged and the spell ended. He sat back on his heels and started to move his hands away when Fenris weakly reached up and held his wrist. Anders held still and looked down at Fenris. There was no pain in his features, only exhaustion.

“Rest,” he said gently. Fenris nodded slightly and closed his eyes.

A wave of nausea hit Anders when he tried to stand after setting Fenris’ hand gently on the floor. He suddenly appreciated having a piece of the Fade within. He sank back to the floor. Anders had used more mana at once healing Fenris than he had in years. In Kirkwall, with Justice, this would have taken only a fraction of his mana. But now, he was so tired. He lay on the floor next to Fenris, closed his eyes and was lost to the Fade in moments.


	13. Chapter 13

There was a comfortable weight on his shoulder. Fenris first thought of Mara, but she was still in Kirkwall and Brit wasn’t quite so heavy…or tall. He could hear whoever had pressed their body against him breathing the slow deep breaths of sleep. In his sleep Fenris had curled his arm around this other person’s shoulders…very broad shoulders. Fenris noticed that his gauntlets had been removed and squeezed lightly and found hard muscle underneath soft cotton. He slowly opened his eyes.

Fenris moved his head slightly and saw that Anders was asleep. His head resting on Fenris’ shoulder, one hand curled slightly resting on his chest, his groin pressed to his hip and one of his legs over Fenris’. It didn’t surprise Fenris that Anders liked to cuddle but it did surprise him that they fit together so well. Having the larger human lying practically on top of him should have been uncomfortable but somehow wasn’t.

He could only guess that Anders had worn himself out healing the deep wound across his stomach and had passed out next to him. In their sleep they had cuddled together like lovers. Fenris realized he had no desire to disturb the mage. Anders did not always sleep well and he looked peaceful at the moment, his face completely free of troubling thoughts and emotions.

Over the last week he watched Anders and Brit become quite close. Anders looked after and cared for Brit in a way Fenris suspected he would have his own child. This child had been a stranger to him only a week ago and Fenris had seen nothing but loving kindness from Anders. It had taken the physical attraction he had for the mage and turned it into something else. Fenris wasn’t quite sure what it was but he knew that he wanted to be around him more. He was careful to keep this new attraction a secret.

So he lay there for a few more moments and watched Anders sleep. He was going to have to wake Anders though. Fenris needed to know where Brit was and if she was safe. Knowing that she was probably with Ser Martin helped him feel less anxious but he wanted to know for sure. He took a breath to speak and watched as Anders’ eyes fluttered open.

“Andraste’s knickers!” he exclaimed as he scrambled backward, disentangling them. Fenris felt a moment of sadness at the loss of his comforting weight. They each sat and stared at one another. Anders looked completely mortified.

“I’m sorry,” Anders said nervously. “I usually have one of my cats to cuddle with. I didn’t mean to…”

“It is all right,” Fenris said. “I do not mind.”

“You…don’t?” he said slowly.

“It was quite pleasant.” Fenris immediately cursed inwardly and wondered what had possessed him to say that out loud.

Anders crawled forward and reached out to him but stopped short. “Are you feeling all right? Hawke didn’t hit your head or smite you or something?” he asked. His voice was filled with worry.

“I did not hit my head.”

Anders shuffled forward a bit more until he was directly in front of Fenris. “May I?” he asked.

Fenris nodded and watched as Anders reached out with his hand once more. His hand glowed with healing magic and Fenris felt his magic searching. He knew that the mage would find nothing wrong. The glow faded and he dropped his hand to his lap.

“There’s…nothing wrong,” he said sounding confused. “But there has to be. You couldn’t possibly want a mage draped all over you…could you?”

He searched for an answer. They had both put forth a lot of effort to keep the peace between them and Fenris was seeing a side of Anders that he never had in Kirkwall. Fenris decided that he wanted more of the kind, loving and compassionate man that Anders could be. Instead of answering with words, which he hadn’t ever been good with, Fenris reached out and gently brushed a stray lock of hair behind his ear. Anders’ eyes widened slightly but he sat perfectly still as Fenris brushed his hand lightly down his cheek. Anders leaned into the contact slightly.

Suddenly they heard someone clearing their throat. Both of them surged to their feet and turned toward the sound. They were standing shoulder to shoulder, so close that their hands brushed together. Fenris noticed that Anders looked as embarrassed as he felt. Anders blushed furiously and Fenris knew his cheeks were turning pink as well.

Ser Martin stood in the doorway, merriment twinkling in his eyes, with a hand on Brit’s shoulder. She stared at both of them and suddenly ran forward and flung an arm around each of their legs and looked up at them.

“I was scared,” she said.

“I’m so sorry sweetie,” Anders said as he knelt down in front of her, taking her small hand in both of his.

Fenris knelt as well. He rubbed her back and said, “We are all right little one.”

“Anders fixed you all up?” she asked him anxiously.

“He did. I am all better,” he said smiling.

She looked over at Anders and back to Fenris. “Why did you take a nap?” she asked.

“Brit, sometimes being healed makes you tired. I went to sleep because I used up a lot of my mana all at once and that makes you tired too,” Anders explained.

“So, it’s all okay now?” she asked.

“We’re okay, I promise,” Anders said and smiled.

“It could just as easily have gone wrong,” Ser Martin scolded. The merriment that danced in his eyes moments ago had vanished. “That was very foolish of you Fenris.”

Fenris and Anders both stood and faced him once more. Brit stood between them and held their hands. He knew that taking on Hawke alone was dangerous and stupid. They fought side by side for nearly eight years, he knew what the man was capable of. But he had to give them time to get away. He also knew that Anders would protect her no matter what happened to him.

“I had to protect them,” he said.

“There’s a difference between protecting and being reckless.” Ser Martin said. “You could have sent Anders to fetch me and we might have subdued him together. Instead you were badly wounded and all we managed was to chase him away.”

Fenris looked down and shuffled his feet. “Perhaps you are correct,” he said quietly.

“He really did get away then?” Anders asked in a small voice. “I had hoped…”

“There are more Sage Knights on the way here as we speak. We will do our best to keep you both safe.”

“You can’t,” Anders said in a shaky voice.

Fenris looked over at him and saw the same terror he’d seen earlier. As it had then, it woke a need to protect. He was the reason Anders was in danger. If he hadn’t brought Brit here Hawke would never even have known that Anders still lived. It wouldn’t be just about Brit and collaring another mage anymore. He would want the vengeance that had been denied him somehow.

“I will protect both of you,” Fenris said to Anders firmly.

Anders looked over at him and smiled gratefully and nervously shifted his weight.

“He was right though, Fenris. You can’t always be around.” Ser Martin walked to the other door in the room as he spoke. “This will help though.” He opened the door; it was a storage closet, pulled something out and turned.

Anders gasped and Fenris saw what he held. It was a very familiar staff, red steel with a simple weight on the bottom and two dragons holding an orb in their teeth. Ser Martin moved to stand in front of Anders and held it out to him. 

“My staff,” Anders said in confused wonder. “You kept my staff?”

“I was hoping one day to return it,” Ser Martin said smiling.

He started to reach out but pulled his hand back. “But I’m not supposed to…” he started.

“I will take full responsibility,” Ser Martin interrupted firmly.

Anders shook his head. “What if…”

“I know you will not,” Fenris said knowing what he would say. “You are not the evil monster you believe yourself to be.”

He looked over at Fenris, his face awash with emotion. Fenris watched as he reached out to take the staff. Anders’ fingers closed over the shaft and Ser Martin let go with a smile.

“Since I don’t think I can convince you to stay here in the village you three had better head home,” Ser Martin said. Anders nodded and they turned to the door. 


	14. Chapter 14

Anders and Brit waited a few minutes while Fenris fixed his armor and strapped his sword to his back. He leaned his staff against the wall and picked her up while Fenris pulled on his gauntlets. With Brit settled on his hip he took his staff and looked at it. He had never expected to even see it again let alone hold it.

“Anders, what is that?” Brit asked pointing to the staff.

“It’s my staff. A mage’s weapon,” he said.

“Will I get one?” she asked curiously.

“Not for a while, sweetie,” he said.

“Come,” Fenris said from behind him. “We should go.”

Anders nodded to Ser Martin and he waved. “Be careful,” he said.

“We will,” Anders said.

They stepped out onto the street and headed quickly up the path. Anders and Fenris were both walking quicker than the leisurely stroll they had adopted this morning. Both of them looked around constantly, their life on the run never quite forgotten. It made Anders kind of sad. In the space of a few hours their life had gone from pleasant to paranoid.

None of them said much on the way back to the farm. They reached home in far less time than they had gotten to Honnleath. Anders headed for the house to put Brit to bed for her nap while Fenris hurried over to the field. He leaned his staff against the wall and opened the door. Pounce, who had been sitting in the rocking chair, followed them into the house.

Brit didn’t always need a nap in the afternoons but today had been very difficult for her. Seeing the both of them pass out had been a little too much for her. He gently set her on the bed and kissed her forehead. She smiled at him and clutched Sarah to her. Pounce settled himself at her back.

Anders quietly left the room and hurried to fill the wood boxes. It had been starting to get a bit cold at night. Fenris was walking to the house as Anders carried in his last load of wood. With the bare minimum of chores done he waited for Fenris at the open door. Stripes darted into the house ahead of Fenris. Anders took his staff and Fenris closed and locked the door behind him.

He stood for a moment and stared at his staff then propped it next to the door. It was a responsibility he wasn’t sure he was ready for or even wanted. Both Fenris and Ser Martin believed in him though. They had placed so much trust in him already and Anders didn’t really want to let either of them down.

Fenris pulled off his gauntlets and dropped them on the table after propping his sword near the door. He moved into the kitchen area and Anders lowered himself into a chair. Folding his arms on the table he rested his head on his forearms.

Seeing Hawke again had terrified him in a way he hadn’t expected. He’d never been scared of him before so why was he terrified now? Anders thought of his life before Fenris and Brit. Going through the motions of living simply because he’d promised Karl long ago that he wouldn’t ever commit suicide and no one else would do it for him. So what was different now?

Fenris had given his life direction by letting Brit into it. Brit was slowly giving his life meaning. She had cast him as her other parent and he’d accepted the role and they were both benefitting from it. Brit was healing a part of himself that he hadn’t known was broken. Coming face to face with his death now terrified him because he wanted to live. Hawke meant his death. He’d killed him once and he wouldn’t hesitate to do so again. Anders was terrified because he knew Hawke. He knew Hawke wouldn’t stop until one of them was truly dead.

At this jarring revelation, he appreciated the staff a little more. Anders sat up and watched Fenris making both of them a sandwich. He was quick and efficient like he was at everything. Fenris put them on a plate and looked up, catching Anders watching, and smiled. He blushed and looked at the table. Anders wondered just what had been about to happen before Ser Martin had interrupted.

He touched his cheek lightly where Fenris had. Anders didn’t know just what they were before this morning and he was now even more confused. Sure Fenris had admitted that he thought Anders was attractive but attraction and affection were leagues apart. It had definitely been an affectionate caress. He’d never seen Fenris be affectionate with anyone besides Brit. And that was definitely a different sort of affection.

Anders dropped his head into his hands and groaned, “I’m so confused.”

“About what?” asked Fenris as he put the plate on the table.

“Did you mean what you said?” asked Anders. After a moment he added, “Or rather, what you didn’t say?”

Fenris filled two glasses with water and set them on the table before he answered. “I meant everything that was said…and unsaid.”

The plate was pushed at him and Anders took one of the sandwiches. Fenris took the other and they ate in silence. After a few bites were chewed and swallowed Anders cautiously asked, “Just what didn’t you say?”

Anders watched Fenris closely. He paused with the food halfway to his mouth and looked directly at Anders. He frowned in thought. Finally he said, “That I may have…developed feelings.”

Fenris looked down and took a bite. Another silence, this one filled with tension. Anders was shocked. He’d been pretty shocked this morning when Fenris hadn’t even growled at him. Sharp words were what he’d expected and instead found out that Fenris didn’t mind Anders snuggling up next to him. He had to admit, it had been nice. He’d felt so warm and comfortable before he’d opened his eyes. Anders wasn’t sure he was ready for feelings though. His feelings were a tangled up mess. Did he even deserve the affections of another? Would he truly be worth the time and effort? Only a week ago the answer to both questions would have been no. Now he just wasn’t sure.

“I think I need some time. I’m not sure about…feelings,” Anders said quietly.

Fenris nodded like he’d expected the answer. “Take as much time as you need. I will not push for something you are not ready to give.”

He smiled gratefully at Fenris, who smiled back. They finished their lunch in a comfortable silence. The rest of their day was spent in the house. None of them really wanted to go outside with Hawke lurking around in the woods somewhere. 

It had been decided that they would talk about Hawke tomorrow. Anders and Fenris spent most of the afternoon reassuring Brit and the evening was spent playing card games around the table. For the most part Anders and Fenris were comfortable around each other. But there were stolen glances and looks that lingered for a bit too long.

Anders was just as guilty as Fenris and he realized as he readied himself for bed that the smile he always got when he was caught warmed him from the inside out. As he lay in bed with Pounce curled up next to him he missed the elf’s presence. His last thought before drifting off to sleep was that maybe…just maybe, wanting more wasn’t such a bad thing.


	15. Chapter 15

Fenris sat at the table mending his leather undershirt. It was early and he was the first up as usual, pot of tea on the table and a cup in front of him. The shirt would have to be replaced but this would do for now. Last night had left him hopeful. All the extra little glances told him that Anders was interested.

Anders walked into the room stretching and yawning. “Good morning,” he said smiling.

“Good morning. Did you sleep well?” Fenris asked smiling up at him. There were circles under his eyes and he looked tired. 

“Not really,” Anders answered. He grabbed a cup and sat.

Fenris set the shirt on the table and looked over at him. “Hawke?” he asked.

“Mostly,” Anders said tiredly. “What are we going to do? We can’t hide in here all the time.”

“We stay together.” Fenris knew it wasn’t that simple. He’d been scouting around the farm this last week and there were many places one man could hide. Their only other option was to move into the village. As much as Fenris didn’t want to leave he knew Anders wouldn’t. This place has been his home for almost five years now. He was comfortable here in a way he wasn’t anywhere else. Fenris couldn’t take that away from him.

“And trust Ser Martin to catch him,” said Anders.

If Hawke could be caught, Fenris wasn’t sure he could be kept. He’d gotten away from one group of Sage Knights already. Both of them knew what it was like to be hunted and Fenris didn’t want to live with Hawke hanging over their lives. A constant threat to the people he held dear. No, he thought, Hawke must die.

Their morning went much like the others had, Brit’s constant happy chatter wearing through the gloom that had settled on the two men. When breakfast was done and the dishes put away, Anders and Brit settled themselves on the porch for her magic lessons. Fenris watched for a few moments then circled the house.

There was one window in the hallway. Besides the front door it was the only other way into the house. Fenris nodded to himself and walked around the house again to the back. The pond was a dozen feet or so almost directly behind the house. Beyond the pond was forest. That was not a likely direction for attack. One could drown wearing full plate and Hawke was not stupid.

He walked around to the porch and looked left. If they were at the house that direction was not likely either. The field lay in that direction and he had a clear view for several dozen feet to the forest beyond. When they worked in the field they would have to be careful. To the front lay the path. Again, when they were not directly on the path, it was not a likely direction for him to attack from. That left the forest to the right. There was only a small clearing where the cloths line stood and plenty of low vegetation to hide in. It was the most likely direction for him to strike. He wondered if Ser Martin would agree to patrols there. 

Fenris turned to watch Anders and Brit. They were sitting cross legged to the left of the door. She was watching him raptly tossing a small fireball back and forth between his hands while he explained something. He noticed the staff sat next to them within easy reach. He turned back to the forest to the right of the house.

Movement along the path leading up to the house caught his attention. Ser Martin was waving at him. Fenris waved back and noticed that he was not alone today. There were two other Sage Knights with him. He walked forward to meet them after checking that Anders and Brit were still there and safe.

“Hello Fenris,” Ser Martin said as he walked up to him.

“Any news?” he asked.

“Good and Bad. Bad first, he’s gotten away clean. I couldn’t find any trace of him.”

Fenris frowned. “And the good news?”

“Reinforcements from Redcliffe, I was hoping we could have a look around.”

He nodded and pointed to the bit of forest he’d been studying. “There is the most likely direction. I was hoping you could spare a couple of your knights to help patrol.”

Ser Martin turned to the two men following him and quietly gave them their instructions. They both put a fist to their heart and started off in the direction Fenris had pointed. He turned back to Fenris. They both turned at the sound of Brit’s voice.

“Papa, look!”

She had the tiniest flame resting just above her palm. It went out and her happy smile turned to a frown. 

“Keep trying little one,” he called out to her, smiling.

Anders waved to Ser Martin, who waved back, and turned back to Brit. 

“My goodness she learns fast,” Ser Martin said, clearly impressed.

“Her appetite for knowledge is insatiable,” Fenris said smiling proudly.

“How is Anders holding up?” he asked, concern clear in his voice and his face.

“Very well, I think.” After a brief pause Fenris asked hesitantly, “Forgive my prying but…has there ever been…anything…between you and Anders?”

Ser Martin snorted. “Maker no! My wife wouldn’t like that at all. He’s just an old friend.”

“You knew each other when he was in the tower?” Fenris asked curiously.

“Anders and I have known each other since we were children. He’s the reason I joined the Templars. After seeing the cruel way he was chained and drug through the village I wanted to help. The only way to get to him was through the Templars.” Ser Martin smiled fondly. “I even helped him escape a couple of times.”

Suddenly they heard Anders gasp and yell out “RUN BRIT!”

They both turned to the house. Brit was running to them as fast as she could, having seen Hawke vault the porch rail behind Anders. Anders was halfway to his feet when Hawke grabbed his pony tail and yanked him up viscously. He cried out in pain. 

Fenris and Ser Martin both went for their weapons as Brit skidded to a halt behind them. Hawke wrapped an arm around Anders’ waist and shielded himself with the mage. The hands holding Anders hair disappeared.

“Don’t,” Hawke said calmly. “Or your abomination dies here and now.”

“He’s got a knife,” Anders said fearfully.

“Shut up!” Hawke growled. Anders winced and clamped his mouth shut. 

Fenris carefully lowered his arm to his side, his markings flaring in agitation. He cursed himself inwardly. Hawke had discarded his plate mail and gone through the pond in back. His trousers and undershirt were soaked. Brit whimpered and clung to his leg.

“Let him go,” ordered Ser Martin.

“I won’t follow orders from a traitor,” Hawke sneered. “This is what will happen. You will give me the girl…”

“Never!” Fenris snarled, taking a step forward. Brit let go of him immediately and clung to Ser Martin instead.

“Ah-ah,” Hawke said. Anders hissed and closed his eyes, Fenris stepped back. “Good boy. Now you will give me the girl and I let you live or all of you die.”

“You can’t possibly kill all four of us.” Ser Martin said calmly.

“Yes he can,” Fenris said quietly. “He killed the Arishok in single combat.”

“No he won’t!” Anders exclaimed. He gripped the arm around his waist and suddenly pushed back against Hawke. The startled warrior went easily and they both crashed through the railing on the porch. Anders yelled in pain as they fell backwards to the ground. He landed on top of Hawke, knocking the wind out of him, and Anders rolled away quickly.

Hawke rolled the other way and stood gasping for breath and staggered off in the direction of the woods. Fenris ran after him. He wouldn’t get away this time. The big man disappeared into the forest and Fenris entered seconds after. He slowed to a walk and followed the clear trail Hawke had left.

“She’s dangerous Fenris, why can’t you see that!” Hawke’s voice came to his left. Fenris turned and scanned the forest. There, leaning against a tree and still trying to catch his breath.

“Do not preach to me of the dangers of magic!” he snarled. Fenris took his sword and stabbed it into the ground. He quickly took off the metal parts of his armor and set them next to his sword. “I have seen abuses by countless magistars!” Fenris was no rouge but he knew a thing or two of being silent. He quietly slipped through the brush and the trees, trying to get behind Hawke.

“And yet you let an abomination teach her? What vile things will he fill her head with? Better to kill her now!” Fenris didn’t answer him but continued to work his way around.

“NO!” It was Anders. His voice was strong and angry. Fenris paused. “She’s an innocent child!”

Hawke turned to the sound of Anders’ voice. It left him with his back to Fenris, and he began creeping forward, hoping he could reach him before he caught his breath completely.

“What sort of blood magic did you use to live?” Hawke snarled. “I killed you!”

“Why chase them all the way here?” Anders asked ignoring his question.

“She’s a mage! Mages must be controlled.”

“Your sister was a mage. What if some crazy templar had chased you to lock up Bethany.”

Fenris finally saw Anders through a gap in the trees. His right hand was pressed to his side, his fingers bloody, and leaning on his staff in his left hand. He watched Hawke push off the tree angrily and crept forward quickly. Fenris knew that he had to reach Hawke before he could get to Anders again.

“Shut up!” Hawke yelled angrily. 

“What about your mother Hawke? Would she be proud of you for turning on your sister? Chasing sweet girls and locking them up for having the gall to be born?”

Anders took a shaky step back when Hawke took another forward. “I said SHUT UP! You know nothing of my mother!”

“But I do. She was a lot nicer to me than you ever were. Would your brother look up to you now? Or would he hate you for locking up his twin?”

“He…no I will not listen!” Hawke cried out, placing his hands on his temples.

“What a disappointment to your father. Turning against him like that.” Anders took another step back and Fenris crept forward, he was almost there.

“He was a blood mage! Everything he said…all lies!” Hawke wailed.

“Your father did what he had to! He was protecting his family you stupid bastard! Protecting YOU!” growled Anders. “You’ve made all of his sacrifices meaningless! _You_ are the traitor!”

Hawke made a strangled noise and Fenris closed the distance between them quickly. His markings lit up and Fenris plunged his hand into Hawke’s back, easily finding his heart and wrapping his fingers around it. Hawke cried out again.

“Don’t kill him, Fenris.” Anders said calmly. 

“Why not! He will not hesitate to kill you or her!” he snarled angrily.

“You can’t see his face,” Anders said calmly walking forward slowly.

“Do it Fenris,” Hawke whispered.

“Please Fenris, don’t kill him.” Anders said. “Sometimes living with your mistakes is worse than dying for them.”

Fenris looked over at the sounds of people shouting. The other two Sage Knights came into view around a tree. He looked back at Anders and was struck by how calm he was. There was no fear, only calm pleading. He let go of Hawke’s heart and slowly pulled his arm out of his back.

“For you,” Fenris said looking at Anders. “I will do as you wish.”

Hawke crumpled to the ground sobbing. Fenris walked around him and went to Anders as the Sage Knights hauled Hawke to his feet. Anders still had his hand pressed to his side and Fenris saw that his shirt was soaked in blood.

“You are still bleeding,” he said, concerned.

“I can’t heal it yet,” Anders said. “He silenced me.” He then surprised Fenris by pulling him into an awkward one armed hug. “Thank you,” he whispered.

Fenris turned and slipped an arm carefully around his waist. Anders arm around his shoulder, still leaning on his staff slightly, they followed the Sage Knights out of the forest. Ser Martin was waiting at the edge of the forest, holding Brit’s hand.

“Papa! Anders!” she yelled and ran to them. Brit clung to them both. Fenris placed his hand carefully on her head, relieved that she was okay.

“Everything will be all right sweetie,” Anders said smiling at her. Brit nodded but didn’t look up.

“Anders,” Ser Martin sighed walking up to them. “I don’t know whether to call that brave or foolish.”

“I’d say a bit of both,” he replied sheepishly.

Ser Martin smiled and shook his head. “You should be okay now.”

“What will you do with him?” Fenris asked.

“He’ll be taken to Denerim. I suspect he’s in for an extended stay in Fort Drakon. I received a letter this morning that said he killed the knights escorting him to Amaranthine,” he said.

“What will stop him from doing it again?” Fenris asked coldly.

“He’ll be bound and put in a cage. There will be six knights instead of just two.”

“It’s all right Fenris,” Anders said. “I don’t think we’ll see him again.”

The calm sureness in his voice did little to reassure Fenris. He looked over at Anders. “How can you be sure?”

“I recognized the look on his face,” Anders said. “I’ve been wearing it for five years.”


	16. Chapter 16

They stood at the edge of the forest for a moment and watched the Sage Knights take Hawke away. Anders hoped he was right and they never saw him again. His side was aching fiercely and he leaned on Fenris a little more. Fenris shot him a worried glance and Anders smiled.

“Can we go sit now?” he asked. “I need to get this cleaned up.”

“Of course,” Fenris said. “How long until you can heal it?”

“It might be a while,” Anders sighed. “Every time I get silenced it never lasts the same length of time.”

Anders didn’t strictly need help walking to the porch, but he didn’t protest it. He liked being this close to Fenris and the hand on his hip was sending his brain places it hadn’t went for years. Highly inappropriate places considering what had just happened.

Brit circled them worriedly as they made their way to the porch. Anders leaned his staff by the door. Fenris gently lowered him into the rocking chair and she stood beside it. Anders blew out a breath he’d been holding as he settled back in the chair, hand still pressed awkwardly to the gash in his side.

“I’d forgotten how much stab wounds hurt,” Anders said ruefully.

Fenris frowned at him and said, “Take your shirt off.”

He winced as he pulled the ruined tunic over his head. Fenris had disappeared but Brit gripped the arm of the chair. Anders wadded the material and pressed it to his side.

“Why can’t you fix it Anders?” she asked, worry etching her young face.

Anders patted her hands on the arm of the chair. “That man made it so I can’t cast any magic for a while.”

“Is he really gone?” she asked in a frightened whisper.

“I think so sweetie,” he said soothingly.

Fenris walked out of the house with a large bowl of water. He set the bowl down on the porch and knelt by Anders’ side. There were a couple of rags in the water and he set a bandage down on Anders’ knee. Fenris paused to pull his gauntlets off and held them out to Brit. “Would you put these inside little one?” he asked.

Brit nodded and held them gingerly before disappearing inside. Fenris squeezed most of the water out of one of the rags and pulled the tunic away from the gash in Anders’ side. Anders knew that it had to be cleaned and bandaged until he could heal it but hissed at the pain anyway. He gripped the arms of the chair.

Fenris was gentle and silent as he washed the blood away. Anders could have done this himself but he let the elf tend to the wound. Soon Fenris had wrapped the bandage around his middle. He handed the other rag to Anders as he stood up. 

“For your hands,” Fenris said.

“Thank you Fenris,” Anders said tiredly.

At some point Brit had come out of the house and stood where she had been earlier. When Anders finished cleaning his hands and dropped the rag back into the water he leaned back in the rocker. She held her doll out to him. “Here,” she said seriously. “Sarah always helps me feel better.”

Anders took the doll and held it close. “Thank you sweetie,” he said, his voice filled with emotion.

“Sit and rest. Brit and I will do the chores after we get my sword and armor from the woods,” Fenris said quietly. 

Anders watched them walk away toward the wood. He held the doll against his chest and absently ran his fingers through the red yarn hair. In the calm after the storm, without adrenaline rushing throughout him, Anders began shaking.

He’d been terrified. The last time Hawke had held a knife to him, Anders had almost been killed. This wasn’t what had terrified him this time however. The very thought that he could lose the two elves that had turned his life upside down had sent his stomach to his throat and his heart pounding in fear. His life had suddenly become secondary to theirs.

Brit had quickly worked her way into his heart. And he had realized standing there with a knife pressed to his side, that he didn’t really want to live without seeing her happy smile. He still wasn’t at all sure just what sort of relationship he had with Fenris but he wanted desperately to find out.

He had been hiding in the dark for so long and they had pulled him back into the light. Anders had acted without a single thought for himself and only now did he realize how close he’d come to dying again. Then he had gotten angry. A righteous fury he hadn’t felt since Justice. But after seeing the desolate, broken look on his face...he wanted him to have a second chance. Anders hadn’t deserved to live after what he’d done to Justice and the chantry but he’d been given one just the same.

Completely lost in his thoughts, Anders jumped when Pounce landed on his lap. “Andraste’s knickers Pounce!” he exclaimed. He winced at the renewed throbbing in his side. Pounce turned a circle and settled himself on Anders’ lap. Anders leaned back in the chair and stroked the soft fur on his back. He closed his eyes and let the purring cat lull him to sleep.

When he woke, Brit was gently shaking him. Pounce was gone but Stripes had taken his place. He still had Sarah clutched in one hand. “Papa says it’s time to eat,” she said quietly.

He smiled at her and handed the doll back to her. “Thank you Brit. I’ll be there in a second okay,” he said.

She smiled brightly at him and hugged Sarah. Anders watched her skip into the house and picked up Stripes. He kissed the top of his head as he stood. Placing the cat back on the chair, he put a hand to his side and healed the gash. Anders then stretched and walked inside. Fenris and Brit were sitting at the table eating a simple lunch of bread and cheese.

“Can you heal that yet?” Fenris asked in a slightly worried voice.

Anders sat at the table and said, “Yes, I just did.”

“Good,” he said sounding relieved.

After a quiet lunch the bandage was removed and he put a different tunic on. He stepped outside and Brit was sitting in the rocking chair with Stripes draped across her lap. After a moment of deliberation, Anders joined Fenris on the steps.

“That was foolish of you,” Fenris said in a carefully neutral voice.

Anders sighed. “Yes it was. But no more so than you charging off by yourself.”

“True,” he admitted after a pause.

Brit was suddenly behind them, a hand on each of their shoulders. “Could we go swim?” she asked.

“That’s a wonderful idea sweetie!” Anders said. “Fenris?”

“I…will watch,” Fenris said hesitantly.

“Can’t you swim?” Anders asked.

“Yes but I do not want to get my leathers wet and the only other thing I have is a pair of pants to sleep in.” Fenris said.

“Oh,” Anders said flatly. He turned to look at Fenris and said irritably, “Why didn’t you say anything?”

Fenris shrugged. “It was not important.”

Behind them Brit danced impatiently from foot to foot. Anders stood and pulled his shirt off and threw it on the chair. He picked up Brit, who bounced excitedly, and turned to Fenris. “You can use a pair of my trousers. There’s no reason for you to miss out,” he said. Fenris arched an eyebrow at him.

“Hurry Papa!” Brit exclaimed.

Fenris finally stood. “Very well, I will be a few minutes.”

Anders smiled and was delighted when Fenris smiled before turning away. He walked around the house and set Brit on the ground while he sat to take his boots off. She immediately waded into the pond and after a few moments he followed her. Brit sat in the shallows and splashed him as he walked by her. He splashed her back and she giggled.

After a few minutes Fenris came around the house. Anders tried not to stare. The trousers were, of course, a bit too big for him. The laces were tied tightly but they still sat low on his hips and the bottoms were rolled up. He followed the flowing lines of lyrium across his stomach and chest to where they disappeared underneath the waistband. Anders suddenly wondered just how far they went. 

He blushed when Fenris arched an eyebrow at him. Anders sunk underneath the water in embarrassment. When he came back up to the surface Fenris was standing close, smiling, and as soon as Anders broke the surface of the water Fenris splashed him and swam away. Anders grinned and gave chase.

They spent the rest of the afternoon in the pond chasing, splashing and laughing. When the three of them crawled out of the water they sat by the bank and let themselves drip dry. After the tense morning, they had all enjoyed the needed release. Now they sat quietly on the porch watching the sun set.

Brit sat in Anders’ lap in the rocking chair and Fenris sat on the steps. She yawned and leaned back against him.

“I’m tired,” she said through another yawn.

“Me too,” Anders said through a yawn of his own.

Fenris stood, and held his arms out for Brit. She kissed Anders on the cheek and said, “Night, night.”

“Good night Anders,” Fenris said.

“Good night,” he said.

Anders stood and followed them into the house. He looked around for his cats and saw that both were inside, so he shut and locked the door. Once in his room, with the door cracked for his cats, he put his sleep pants on and lay on the bed. He turned on his side and stared at the wall and after a few minutes rolled onto his back and stared at the ceiling. Anders couldn’t sleep.

His mind was blissfully empty for once and he continued to toss and turn. Both of his cats were mysteriously absent. Anders finally got up and went to look for one of them. He didn’t find either of his cats but he did find Fenris sitting in his comfortable chair. The elf looked to be asleep so Anders stared.

He traced the lines of lyrium that swirled and flowed across his bare arms and chest. He followed them down to his flat abdomen where they disappeared under the waistband of his pants, which still sat tantalizingly low on his hips. 

“Now who is staring?”

Anders jumped at the sound of his deep voice. “I…I’m sorry. I thought you were asleep.”

Fenris smiled and said, “It is all right.”

“Do you always sleep out here?” Anders asked.

“Yes. You are having trouble sleeping?”

“Yeah, have you seen either of my cats?”

“They are both with Brit.”

Anders scowled. Traitors, he thought. “Guess I’ll have to use a potion,” he sighed. He turned to the cabinet where they were kept.

“Anders,” Fenris said hesitantly. “Would it help if you…had someone to…cuddle?”

He slowly turned back around. “Are you…offering?”

“I cannot sleep either. When I close my eyes all I can see is him…hurting you. Maybe if…” Fenris trailed off, cheeks turning pink.

“Nothing else happens? Just cuddling?” he asked.

Fenris nodded. “I swear nothing else. I just need to know that you are safe.”

“All right.” Anders turned and heard Fenris stand and follow. 

Fenris left his bedroom door open a crack and followed Anders to the bed. Anders scooted back against the wall and waited for Fenris to get comfortable. He hesitantly held his arm out and Anders scooted closer. They found themselves in much the same position they had been the other day in Honnleath.

With his chest bare, Anders found himself listening to a song he hadn’t heard in five years. “I can still hear it,” he whispered in wonder.

“Hear what?” Fenris asked his voice also low.

“The lyrium. With Justice I could hear it sing as he could. This close…I can still hear it.”

Fenris’ brushed a lock of hair behind his ear. “Shh, sleep now.”

Listening to the faint song, pressed against Fenris, he felt safe and warm. He soon drifted off to sleep.


	17. Chapter 17

For the next few days their lives mostly drifted back to normal. Fenris couldn’t bring himself to leave them. His failure to protect Anders weighed on him heavily. After things had settled down that day Fenris had realized that he cared for Anders as much as he did his daughter. He’d had to admit to himself that night when each time he closed his eyes he saw him broken and bloody in Hawke’s grasp.

Even after he had gone with Anders to his bed it took him a long time to trust his senses instead of his imagination. During the day Fenris knew his fears were irrational. Hawke was locked up and no one else had a cause to hurt any of them. But when night fell, sitting in the chair after they had gone to bed, it would happen again until he’d finally gone to check on Anders for himself. Anders had been awake each night when Fenris had quietly opened the door. Neither of them ever said anything, but Anders would lift the blanket in invitation. Only after Anders was safe in his arms, did Fenris sleep.

They didn’t ever speak about their strange sleeping arrangements but Fenris knew that both of them benefitted. He gained assurance and Anders slept peacefully. Fenris knew, even when they were both in Kirkwall at each other’s throats that Anders almost never slept peacefully. There had been too many nights camped out on The Wounded Coast or Sundermount where Anders would always wake Fenris with his night terrors.

When Anders taught Brit in the mornings he stayed away but did not leave. Instead he practiced with his sword in the unused part of the field. Neither of the mages seemed to mind this change in their routine. It seemed to please both of them. The first day after Hawke’s attack Anders had not specifically asked him to stay but seemed relieved when he did.

There was also a subtle change in Anders’ behavior as well. He seemed more confident, it was easier to make him smile and he laughed more. Anders also found reasons to be close even when they weren’t asleep. It gave Fenris hope that maybe he was starting to think of himself as a man instead of a monster.

Fenris paused in his sword work and looked around to find the two people that occupied most of his thoughts. They were walking towards him, both smiling. He shouldered his greatsword and walked to meet them at the edge of the field.

“You make that look so easy,” Anders said in admiration.

He smiled and said, “Practice. How is your practice little one?”

“Great! Anders is going to teach me spell wisp!” she said excitedly.

Fenris looked up at Anders and wondered if it was normal for one so young to learn so much, and so quickly too. The question must have shown on his face because Anders shook his head slightly and mouthed ‘later’. He nodded and asked, “What chores do we have today?”

“Well, Brit and I have watered the garden and the wood box inside is full. I was thinking we could go into the forest and gather some more wood,” Anders said.

Fenris started walking to the house and they turned and walked with him. “More wood?” he asked.

“We have plenty for a while but I’d like to stock up as much as I can before the cold really sets in. Hunting for firewood in the snow is annoying and cold,” Anders explained.

“When will it get cold?” he asked frowning.

“A month at the earliest and two at the latest.” 

“How cold does it get?” Brit asked looking up at him curiously.

“It can get pretty cold, but don’t worry sweetie. We’ll get you a nice coat and some boots to keep you warm,” Anders said. 

“I have to wear boots?” she asked. She wrinkled her nose and said “Yuck!”

Anders chuckled and Fenris smiled. “I will be wearing boots too little one,” Fenris said.

“If your feet get too cold it can hurt, so yes you have to wear boots,” Anders said seriously.

“Aww,” she pouted.

“It’s just when you’re outside in the snow. You can take them off inside,” Anders said. “I don’t wear mine inside in winter.”

“You don’t?” Brit asked. “Don’t you like your boots?”

They approached the porch and Anders went up the steps and turned around. “I do like my boots. But I don’t like cleaning up all the snow that gets tracked around either.” He smiled and winked at her and she giggled. “Why don’t you get the handcart from out back and I’ll pack us a lunch,” he said to Fenris.

Brit jumped up the steps and said excitedly, “I’ll help!”

They turned to enter the house and Fenris smiled. He enjoyed watching them together. Anders smiled the most at her enthusiasm and was patient with her many questions. Her mother was constantly exasperated with all her questions but Anders just smiled. Walking around the side of the house he thought about how well Brit had adjusted. They had come here chased, tired and frightened and now it was home.

Anders had made them welcome even though Fenris had always been an enemy. He’d always had a kind word and a smile for Brit. Fenris knew that she loved him and he thought that Anders loved her as well. After the last week he suspected that he might love Anders as well. His wants and desires and his need to protect both of them were too strong for anything else. He didn’t question why or how it had happened, he simply accepted it.

He pushed the little hand cart around the house as he wondered if Anders would ever return his feelings. Fenris was hopeful but Anders said he’d needed time and Fenris let him have it. They had plenty of time now without a death threat hanging over them. Brit and Anders were waiting for him by the porch. Anders had his pack and he lifted Brit into the cart. “Let’s search off this way,” he said and pointed towards the woods. “I know of a few downed trees in that direction.”

“Lead on,” Fenris said.

He followed Anders into the woods and Brit looked around constantly and asked her many questions. It didn’t take very long to reach the first fallen tree. Fenris helped Brit out of the cart and they gathered good sized pieces that would fit in the cart. 

“Have to come back with the axe,” Anders said. “Let’s find a good place to eat.”

“Yay!!!” Brit exclaimed. “I’m hungry!”

It didn’t take long to find a little clearing. They sat in a circle, each of them sitting with their legs crossed. When Anders sat, Fenris noticed that their knees touched. It was the first touch he had allowed outside of the bedroom. Fenris glanced at him and smiled. Anders smiled shyly back and handed him a sandwich but he didn’t move away. They chatted of pleasant things while they ate. When they finished eating Fenris and Anders sat while Brit explored the area.

“Fenris,” Anders said hesitantly. He was looking at his feet and running a blade of grass between his fingers.

“Yes,” he said leaning back to rest on his hands.

“Were you…married?” asked Anders shyly. “To her mother I mean.”

“I was.” Fenris couldn’t see his face.

“Oh. Do you…miss her?” Anders continued to play with the grass at his feet.

“I do not,” Fenris answered immediately. He hadn’t even thought of his wife for a long while. 

Anders lay back in the grass and laced his fingers under his head. He looked up at Fenris and asked “You don’t miss her at all?"

“No. She taught me many things and I did love her but…Brit is more important.”

“Then you don’t love her anymore?” Fenris thought he sounded hopeful.

Fenris lay on his side next to him and propped his head in his hand. “When Brit’s magic manifested I could not bear the thought of her in the circle. Mara wanted nothing more to do with her. My choice was clear.”

“You chose Brit obviously but…do you still love her?” he asked.

They looked at each other for a long moment. Fenris carefully touched his cheek. “I do not.”

Anders started to reach out but jumped when Brit suddenly sat herself between them. She held out a purple wildflower to each of them. “Pretty huh!” she exclaimed.

Fenris took his and tucked it behind his ear. “It is very pretty. Thank you little one.”

Anders took his and sat up. He carefully worked the stem into his hair where it was tied back. “Thank you, it’s beautiful.”

“We should move on,” Fenris said as he stood.

Anders accepted a hand up and with a last glance at Fenris, turned and started walking further into the woods. “This way,” he said. Brit skipped happily after him and Fenris followed behind with the hand cart. By the time they filled the cart and headed back to the house the sun was sinking low. They ate a quick dinner after leaving the cart in the yard.

They washed the dishes and then themselves and were on the porch enjoying the evening. Brit was in the chair playing with Stripes and Fenris and Anders were sitting on the steps. Pounce was sitting in Fenris’ lap. Fenris scratched behind his ears and Pounce purred. Anders sat beside him twirling the flowers Brit had given them between his fingers. The silence was comfortable.

After listening to the cat’s purring in his lap and the insects singing in the yard Brit’s yawn was loud. Fenris turned slightly and saw her arms folded on the arms of the chair resting her head. Stripes had settled next to her.

“Tired little one?” Fenris asked.

“Yeah,” she said sleepily.

Anders stopped him from getting up with a hand on his shoulder. “I’ll put her to bed,” he said.

“Night night Papa,” Brit said, her head resting on Anders’ shoulder.

“Good night little one,” Fenris said.

He turned back to watch the slight breeze swaying the trees. Fenris scratched Pounce’s head and smiled when he started purring again. Anders sat next to him quietly and ran his fingers through Pounce’s fur.

“You know,” Anders said cautiously. “You don’t have to wait to come to bed.”

“I was not sure I would be welcome,” he said. 

“You are.” Anders leaned against him lightly.

Inside Fenris’ spirit soared. They sat for a bit longer before Fenris pushed the cat off his lap and stood. Anders stood with him and Pounce stretched before he sauntered into the house, followed closely by Stripes. Anders closed and locked the door and Fenris watched both cats slip through the cracked door to Brit’s room.

Anders snorted. “You know, they haven’t slept with me since Hawke.”

Fenris looked over at him and saw fond annoyance on his features. He wasn’t sure what to say so he said nothing, only leading the way into the bedroom. Once there Anders left the door open a crack and passed him to climb onto the bed. Fenris noticed that the flowers had joined the feather on his dresser and sat on the edge of the bed as Anders scooted back. He lay back onto the pillow and they tangled themselves together. Anders was snoring softly in moments and Fenris finally slept, with a small smile across his lips.


	18. Chapter 18

When Anders woke Fenris was still in bed. They were both on their sides, spooned together with Anders’ hand resting on Fenris’ hip. He breathed in the clean scent of Fenris’ snow white hair just under his nose.

“Good morning,” Fenris said quietly.

“Morning,” Anders yawned. “You’re still here.”

“I am…comfortable.”

Anders smiled. He didn’t really want to move either. Sleep had never been very peaceful since the Wardens but somehow Fenris chased the nightmares away. Anders wondered if it had something to do with the lyrium in his skin, tracing gently along the markings that came out of the waistband at his hip and up his side. Stifling a giggle, Fenris grabbed his hand and brought it up to his chest. Pinning his arm with his own and pressing Anders’ hand onto his chest.

“Fenris, are you ticklish?” Anders said grinning.

“Yes,” Fenris said and Anders knew that he was smiling.

He freed his other arm from beneath the pillow and lightly fluttered his fingers along Fenris’ side. Fenris snorted laughter and squirmed. Suddenly Fenris rolled over. He pushed Anders to his back and straddled his hips. They laughed together as Anders fought but the warrior’s greater strength won and Fenris pinned his hands to the bed on either side of his head. Their faces were inches apart and both smiling.

Anders stared up at him for a long moment, realizing what an intimate position they were in. He impulsively closed the distance and kissed him briefly. Just a light press of his lips to Fenris’, and his eyes widened slightly.

“I’m sorry I shouldn’t…” Anders began.

“Anders,” Fenris interrupted quietly.

“Yes?” he whispered.

Fenris leaned down, tilting his head slightly and kissed him. It was more than just a light press. It was full of passion and want and Anders returned it with just as much passion. He wiggled one of his hands free and cupped the back of Fenris’ head, fingers tangled lightly in his hair. They broke apart reluctantly when Stripes jumped up to the bed.

Both of them looked at him as he sat on the edge of the bed. Stripes meowed and rubbed his head along Anders’ arm. Anders let his arm drop to his chest and sighed, “Now you come to bed?”

Fenris sat up straight and looked down at Anders, hands resting on his thighs. “We should get up. Brit will probably wake soon.”

“Yes,” Anders sighed. He sat up and Stripes lay in the warm spot he left behind. Anders wrapped his arms around Fenris and rested his forehead against his chest. “But I really don’t want to.”

He felt Fenris’ arm around him. “There will be plenty of time.”

Anders couldn’t think of a time when he’d felt happier or safer. He didn’t really want it to end but it really just gave him something to look forward to. “Right,” he said looking up and smiling.

Fenris smiled back and kissed his forehead. “I will make tea,” he said untangling himself.

As Fenris left the room Anders stood and dressed quickly. Grabbing his comb and his hair tie he went to the kitchen. Fenris had started a fire and had put the kettle of water on to boil. He sat next to Fenris at the table instead of opposite him like he normally did. 

“Is it normal for children to learn magic so fast?” Fenris asked when Anders had settled on the chair.

“Not in my experience. It took me forever to make a proper fireball and Brit’s got it in less than a week. She soaks up everything I teach her so fast,” Anders replied, combing the knots out of his hair. “She’s very strong too.”

“How so?” he asked.

“Well part of it is that she just wants to learn. Her desire for knowledge is incredible. Justice has told me that whenever she’s there she constantly quizzes him on the fade, demons, spirits, and things like that. She also has a lot of raw talent. Brit could easily grow into the most powerful mage I’ve ever seen.”

“How is that possible? Neither Mara or I are mages.” Fenris frowned and added, “Mara was so proud that she did not have any mage blood in her family.”

Anders thought carefully about what he would say. He didn’t want to ruin the wonderful morning with a fight and this had always been a touchy subject for the elf. “Well,” he said slowly tying his hair back. “Then the magic didn’t really come from her. We both know that there…were mages in your family.”

Fenris abruptly stood and Anders watched him stiffly put the leaves in the kettle. Anders toyed with the comb still in his hands and watched Fenris get three cups to set on the table. The kettle and a jar of honey came next. After getting a spoon he sat back down and sighed.

“I have never remembered much of my life before…” he trailed off and tapped the spoon on the back of his hand. “I know my mother was not a mage.”

“Fenris,” Anders said quietly. “None of that really matters. Your parents don’t determine those things. Neither of my parents were mages but my Mother’s brother was. It’s just in the blood…normally.” Fenris arched an eyebrow at him and Anders sighed. “I really hate to mention this but…these,” he said lightly touching one of the lyrium brands on his arm. “Could have had some unknown effect.”

“That…is disturbing,” Fenris said with a deep frown.

“Lyrium is magic in a raw form. Normally it’s deadly for humans and elvhen and even dwarves aren’t completely immune. The simple fact that you’re alive is really a miracle.”

A heavy silence fell. Anders poured some tea in a cup and handed it to Fenris. Fenris spooned some honey into the liquid and stirred. He poured himself a cup and stirred in some of the honey and they drank quietly. 

“Is she in danger?” Fenris asked quietly after a while.

“I’d be more worried about it if you were her mother but, there is really no way to tell. She’s a normal little girl with an amazing thirst for knowledge and an uncanny talent with magic.” Anders reached out and tentatively held his hand. “I think you both are just fine.”

Fenris’ fingers curled around his and he looked over at Anders with a grateful look. “I am glad we are here.”

“I am too,” he said quietly. “Try not to worry, I’ll keep a close watch but I really don’t think she’s been harmed in any way. Maybe just…given a little boost is all.”

Brit wandered out rubbing her eyes. She sat at the table and looked from one to the other and focused on their joined hands. Looking at Fenris she asked, “Is Anders my Mama now?”

Fenris looked at him and Brit’s gaze followed. Anders knew what he wanted. The last of his fears died yesterday in the forest. He was grateful that Fenris had let him have the time he’d needed to sort out his feelings. Even now Fenris was letting him make the choice. Not trusting his voice, he looked from one set of jade green eyes to the other and nodded.

Brit squealed in glee and she slid off of the chair, ran around the table and crawled up into his lap. She threw her arms around his neck and kissed his cheek. He smiled and patted her back. “Please don’t call me ‘Mama’,” he said. 

“Why not,” she asked leaning back to look at him. 

“Sweetie, Mamas are girls. I’m a boy so I’d be a Papa.”

“I have two Papas now?” she asked in confusion.

“Yes, I suppose you do,” Anders said smiling at her. 

Fenris squeezed his hand lightly and released him before standing up. He kissed Brit on the cheek and she smiled. “You have to go to the village and see Ser Martin today?” he asked.

“Yes we do. Are you coming with?” Anders asked.

“I would like to,” he said.

“Great, let’s get ready then,” Anders said smiling. 

His morning flew by in a daze. Nothing had really changed. They went on with their morning routine with more smiles and a few more touches. It had simply been made official, they were a family, and he was happy. Anders hadn’t thought that such happiness could ever be his. He’d done so many things wrong but neither Fenris nor Brit seemed to care. 

They walked down the path, Brit between them one of her hands in one of theirs, answering her many questions. Honnleath soon came into view and Anders knocked once and opened the door of the Sage Knight’s office. Ser Martin looked up from something he was writing and set down his quill.

“You will be happy to know that Hawke is safely behind bars in Fort Drakon. It seems he didn’t make any sort of fuss at all,” he said cheerily.

“The bad man can’t hurt us no more?” Brit asked.

“That’s right Brit,” Ser Martin answered her. He looked up at Anders and said, “No staff?”

“I’d completely forgotten about it,” Anders said sheepishly. “You didn’t get in trouble did you?”

“No, the Queen approved my decision and convinced the King to completely lift the no weapons rule. How’s our little apprentice doing?”

“Papa Anders says I’m learning fast. He’s going to teach me Spell Wisp!” Brit said excitedly.

“Papa Anders?” Ser Martin said looking up at him.

“Yup, I have two Papas now!” she said proudly.

A grin spread quickly across his face. Anders shrugged and smiled. Ser Martin looked over at Fenris and raised an eyebrow. Fenris nodded slightly at his unasked question.

“What wonderful news!” he said standing. “The Queen is going to be so happy to hear of this.”

Frowning Fenris said, “Why must she know of our relationship?”

“It’s just part of the deal Fenris. They keep a close eye on me because of…what I’ve done,” said Anders sadly. “I didn’t think of it or I would have told you this morning.”

“There will be no interference?” Fenris asked suspiciously.

“None,” Ser Martin said seriously. “We don’t really want details either, just to know what’s happening. I’ve been encouraging Anders to find someone for years now.”

“Are there anymore of these…rules I should know about?” Fenris asked.

“Besides the basic mage rules?” Ser Martin asked.

“Yes. I do not wish to cause trouble because of ignorance,” he said softly.

“Only that Anders can’t leave Honnleath for any reason other than the whole village being evacuated. I promise you, I won’t interfere for any reason. I just want him to be happy.”

Fenris nodded and looked over at Anders, smiled and held out his hand. Anders smiled back and took his hand gratefully. He was so used to being watched so closely that he’d completely forgotten to tell Fenris. 

“I’d say congratulations but I’d probably get hit,” Ser Martin said, his grin resurfacing. Anders rolled his eyes. “For now, I’ll just say that we’re done and you three can go.”

“We can go home now?” Brit asked.

“That’s right,” Ser Martin said.

“Yay! I want to learn more!” She clapped her hands in excitement.

“I’ve got a few questions for you Anders but they can wait. I’ll stop by the farm sometime during the next week.”

Anders nodded. Goodbyes were said and they were back on the trail to the farm. Brit walked in front of them, shifting her mana ball from shape to shape. Fenris was quietly walking beside him, their fingers still twined together.

“Fenris…” he started nervously.

Fenris shook his head and interrupted. “Do not apologize, Anders. You have done nothing wrong.”

“I just never thought…”

“Anders,” Fenris interrupted again. “I am not angry. I do not like the idea of being watched, but I will get used to it.” After a moment he added, “As long as it is just watching. What must I do to ease your mind?”

“Kiss me,” he said quietly.

Fenris stopped walking immediately and used their linked hands to pull Anders close. One arm around his waist and one at the back of his head, pulling Anders down so that their lips met, he felt all of the same passion and want that he had this morning in bed. He returned it eagerly.

Brit giggled and they reluctantly parted. Fenris smiled and asked “Better?”

Anders smiled back and said, “Much better.” 


	19. Chapter 19

They walked home hands clasped together, all three of them happy. Chores were done and Anders and Brit were sitting on the porch. Fenris practiced in the field with his sword until they were done. Lunch was fixed and eaten quickly and they were sitting at the edge of the pool watching Brit splash happily in the water.

“It’s going to start getting cold soon,” Anders said. “We really need to get you two some warmer clothes.”

“Yes,” Fenris said. “A worry for tomorrow.”

“I suppose. I’ll need to make some potions before we can do anything.”

Fenris looked over at him and pulled him closer with an arm around his waist. He was too happy to think of such things at the moment. Somehow he’d found happiness twice. This one would last. There was nothing that could happen to tear them apart. Hawke was locked up, his former master dead and no Templars in Ferelden meant that there weren’t very many nasty surprises for them. Even though Anders couldn’t leave Honnleath, they were free. It was all both of them had ever wanted. 

Anders smiled and placed a hand lightly on his thigh. He leaned over and kissed Anders lightly on the cheek. The silence was comfortable, simply enjoying the nearness of the other. They watched Brit for a while before Anders stood and pulled off his tunic, his boots already beside him on the shore.

“You definitely need something to wear besides those leathers,” Anders said wading into the water. “Go get changed!”

Fenris stood and nodded. He quickly went to the house and changed. When he came back they were in the deepest part of the pond and Anders was trying to teach her to stay afloat. Fenris waded in as Anders scooped her up, the water only coming to his shoulders, and kissed her cheek. He hurried up to them and circled them both with his arms. Their future was uncertain, but Fenris was confident he could keep his mages safe.


End file.
